


Desire's Weakness

by nozomomm



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: F/F, Teenage Pregnancy, aaaaangst, abortion., aqours is disappointed in them, chika and dia are very oof, except mari, here is your warning, i should probably figure that out, if there is an abortion, im not sure if they will abort or keep it, mentioned chikayou, mentioned kanamari, oh boy, oof riko fucked up, practice safe sex kids, riko is pregnant, so did yoshiko, that means yoshiko has a dick i guess, uhh most of aqours is close minded
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-02-16 01:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13043964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nozomomm/pseuds/nozomomm
Summary: Yoshiko's had bad luck her entire life, but this is just stepping overboard. One night led to one mistake, and now Riko is pregnant. Struggling with school, their relationship, guilt and shame, follow Yoshiko and Riko in this journey of desire's weakness.





	1. Chapter 1

Riko sat on her bed with her hands cupped together, lodged in between her thighs. She practiced heavy breathing and just tried to keep her thoughts in order. She was trying her hardest, but she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.

How could she let this happen? Why her? What was she going to do?

Her sniffles turned into sobs and she quickly began to feel hopeless. Yes, something happened to her that she never thought could happen. Riko was pregnant.

-

After a sleepless night of crying and anxiety, it was finally the next day. There was no part of Riko that actually wanted to get out of bed, but she forced herself anyways. If she were to miss school, Chika or You would most likely come check on her and that’s something she just can’t handle right now.

She found herself constantly zoning out through all of her classes, eventually she gave up on trying to focus. However, every time she allowed her mind to wonder, the lump in her throat grew and anxiety struck her. Screw the pregnancy, screw her relationship, if she could make one wish right now, it would be just to stop thinking.

Lunch came slowly and continued to drag on. You and Chika ate with her, like they always do. They immediately noticed something out of the blue with Riko, but she already had a story ready about how she was feeling a little sick. They believed her and went right back to their delightful and bubbly conversation. Riko observed them, but only to be filled with more and more despair with each one of their bright smiles. After all her mind thought the previous night and entire morning, Riko felt like nothing else mattered and was at the lowest she’s ever been. Why her? This question popped up in her head again, along with jealousy and the desire to be normal and happy like the two girls in front of her. No doubt, she felt whiny for thinking about this when in fact she was just as bubbly yesterday. She realized that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t control any of the emotions that rained down from the dark cloud hovering over her.

Karma struck for the lie she just told as she suddenly felt sick to her stomach. Along with the urge to vomit came a glisten of the tears in her eyes.

“R-Riko?!”, the two girls panicked.

“Please excuse me..”, Riko shut her eyes and ran off, leaving her best friends behind her.

\--

Kneeling over a toilet in a bathroom stall, Riko vomited. She has been getting sick like this for the past week, leading her to take a pregnancy test in the first place. This time, along with vomiting, she was loudly sobbing at the same time. She never thought that someone might hear her, or rather actually come inside.

“Hello? Who is crying?”

Instantly, Riko recognized the unmistakable English. With Mari Ohara, she knows she has no other choice than to open up the door. Mari appeared to be shocked when Riko exposed herself, rushing to her side immediately.

“Riko, oh my god, what’s wrong?”

Riko didn’t answer.

Picking up the smell of vomit, Mari grabbed Riko’s wrist and stated, “Why don’t we take you to the nurse?”

“I don’t need the nurse”, Riko removed Mari’s grip on her.

“Eh? A-Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

Mari looked her deep in the eye for an entire minute, knowing the girl was far from okay.

“Then let’s go back to my office…”

Riko didn’t have any excuse not to, in fact she’d rather go with Mari than back to lunch with Chika and You. Mari held her hand tightly while leading the way and that small gesture let Riko understand that she could trust Mari. With seniority over her as well, she might be the best person to spill everything out to.

Mari didn’t allow her desk to separate the two of them, so she pulled her chair next to Riko’s. She also supplied tissues for Riko, who was crying even heavier now.

“I-I-I’m sorry..”, Riko tried to get herself together in order to speak.

“It’s perfectly fine. You’re safe in this room.”

“I ruined my life Mari… I don’t know what to do..”, Riko was finally letting go.

“Riko..”

“I’m…”, she gulped down the tears, “I’m p-pregnant.”  
The silence of the room felt like it was eating Riko alive. Mari just stared at her, obviously in disbelief. Riko regretted telling her. She watched Mari’s eyes gradually widened as the reality sunk deeper in her.

“H-How? Riko.. w-why?”, Mari struggled to find words for this situation.

“I made a mistake. I really fucked up.”

Riko took her eyes off of Mari, unable to watch her disappointment any longer. This is what Riko expected, wasn’t it? She’s 16 and one of the most responsible members in Aquors. Anybody would be shocked. Riko’s tears built up again, releasing down her cheeks in a steady stream. She had enough of this.

Riko bolted up and quickly made her way to the door, only to be stopped by Mari, who had a tight hold on her wrist. Whipping Riko around, she welcomed her into her embrace. Stroking the top of her head, Mari began to sympathize.

“I understand Riko, I understand. I’m not mad at you, I’m here for you. It was a mistake, they happen. You’ll get through this, I’ll make sure of it.”

Riko hugged Mari back tightly, hoping what Mari was splurting was true.

They parted, but Mari still held onto Riko’s arms.

“If you don’t mind me asking.. Who was it with?”

The question she was waiting to here. Those words triggered her thoughts, making her think things she was pushing away. Ever since she found out, she continuously rejected the thought of her. She didn’t want to think about her, she didn’t want to think about the mistake they made.

Looking down at the ground again, she took a final gulp.

“It was with.. Um..”

Mari waited with anticipation as Riko stumbled with her words.

“Y-Yoshiko.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riko confronts Yoshiko, sharing the news.

“Y-Yoshiko.”

Of course, Mari was just as shocked as before, letting go of the grasp she had on Riko. No one knew about them, so this was the first time Mari would be hearing of the affair between the other two members of her own subunit. 

“I know, I know it’s crazy. I didn’t mean for anything to turn out this way. I regret it.”

“Does she know?”

Riko shook her head and closed her eyes, not wanting to see her reaction.

“You have to tell her immediately”, Riko picked up on the deepening of Mari’s voice.

“I.. I can’t do that..”

Mari’s voice became sterner, “You have to.”

“But.. she’s 15 Mari! I already feel guilty enough…”

Mari was temporarily silent and managed to calm herself down.

“It’s still her child, Riko. This is a two player sport and I’ll call her to the office right now if I need to.”

Once again, anxiety built up inside of Riko. The word “child” alone is just enough to make her panic. She isn’t ready for this, she doesn’t want to do this. And certainly, Yoshiko isn’t ready for this either. Their relationship isn’t ready for this. Why couldn’t they have thought before having sex? Why does it feel like the world hates them?

“Don’t make me do this… I don’t want to tell her.”

Riko neared the edge of breaking down again, getting more and more angry at herself. Mari noticed this and calmed herself down once again, knowing she just focus on being there for Riko right now.

“Ok, let’s just talk some more”, Mari lead her back down to the chairs, giving her some tissues in the process.

“Am I the only person that knows?”

“Yeah.. ”, Riko’s words came out crackly.

“Not even Chika or You?”

“They’ll think I’m a slut or something.. And I couldn’t even imagine what would happen if they found out about Yoshiko and I..”

“I think they will still respect you, honestly the three of you are inseparable.”

Riko shrugged off that comment in disagreement.

“Ruby and Hanamaru would hate me.”

“No. Remember it’s not your fault”, Mari said reassuringly.

Mari’s words gave Riko flashbacks to night she tried so hard to forget. 

“It.. It is my fault. I’m the one that told Yoshiko to continue without a condom… I’m the one that told her to just pull out!!” 

Mari was taken aback by what Riko was shouting. She made a note to herself to push for more sexual education in their school.

“Both of you didn’t know any better. Do you want to explain what happened before this?”

Riko hunched over in her chair and covered her eyes with her hands.

“We were just texting for awhile. She came over to my house one day.. we were just clicking so well. I don’t even remember how we started making out. We desired each other so much that we weren’t even thinking correctly. My only thought was her. Now I can’t even think about her without wanting to cry.”

Mari almost began to emphasize with Riko, she had some experiences where emotions like that just take control. This definitely adds reality to Riko’s problem. These things happen, sometimes it’s just bad luck. 

“I think I want to see Yoshiko.” 

Riko whispered those words just loud enough for Mari to hear. This was Riko’s first time really thinking about her since yesterday’s event. Mari was right, this was a two player game. She needs Yoshiko right now. Rejecting Yoshiko from her thoughts is getting her nowhere.

Within minutes, the door opened. 

“Why have you summoned - “, Yoshiko stopped when she felt the heavy atmosphere and heard the soft sniffles from Riko. Mari knew this was the appropriate time to step out of the room and leave them alone.

Once Riko locked eyes with Yoshiko, she swiftly got up and quickly approached the confused girl, pulling her into a tight embrace immediately. 

“I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry..”, Riko whimpered into Yoshiko’s shoulder.

“Uhh what’s wrong Riri?”, Yoshiko did the best to comfort Riko by stroking the back of her hair.

Riko gripped Yoshiko’s shirt forcefully, holding back heavy sobs.

“This is the hardest thing for me to tell you.”

Yoshiko remained silent, not sure what was going on. Releasing her grip a little, Riko met Yoshiko eye to eye.

“I’m pregnant.”

Yoshiko blinked a few times, not processing what Riko was saying.

“Eh?”

For the millionth time today, words were blocked by that lump in her throat. All she could do is bite her lip and nod her head.

“P-Pregnant?”, Yoshiko stuttered.

She let out a weak “yeah” before closing her eyes and hanging her head down low. 

"H-How did this happen? I-I.."

“I-I don't know, I don’t know what to do, Y-Yoshiko.. I understand if you want to not be involved I-I didn’t even want to bring you into this.. W-We’re just so young and I can’t-”

Yoshiko was in a state of shock. Questions and guilt flooded her mind, similar to how Riko reacted. 

“I-I-I’m so sorry, Riko..”

Yoshiko moved on instinct and brought Riko close to her, allowing her to cry in the crook of her neck. Riko wrapped her arms around her waist and gripped onto her back tightly.

“Please.. Please don’t leave me..”

Yoshiko clenched her eyes shut, stunned from this news along with the helpless and beaten down state Riko was in. She couldn’t even imagine what was running through her mind.

“I won’t. Of course I’ll stay.”

Yoshiko also knew this was the time where Riko needed her. She needed someone to tell her that everything was going to be okay, even if Yoshiko wasn’t certain in the truth of that. But she could guarantee that whatever they'll go through, it’ll be together.

Yoshiko took a hold of Riko’s hands, placing a powerful and warm kiss on them. 

“It may feel like it right now, but this.. this isn’t a dead end for us, Riko. You mean so much to me, I’m not going to let an obstacle in our path stop us from walking the road of our relationship. We can get through this, together. Whatever choice you make, I’ll support you. I’ll be next you to you every step of the way. I’ll drop everything and dedicate my life to you right now if I have to you, I’ll do anything for you. I’ll do anything for us, Riko.”

Riko was shocked at Yoshiko’s choice of words, never expecting something like that to come out of her. Nonetheless, her words hit her hard. This amount of comfort that she oh so badly needed right now, she was even able to smile. 

Throwing her arms around her once again, Riko said, “I really don’t deserve you.”

“Yes, yes you do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayeee, hoping you're enjoying the story but here's another PSA! Not all teen moms have the support of the "father" like Riko has with Yoshiko. Although there can be many other supportive people in a young mother's life, the absence of the father mostly likely will have an effect on her and/or the baby. Whether financially or emotionally- when the parents are able to come together, it is likely easier for the both of them. This is only in case young pregnancies do happen, which is not being supported at all in this fic, so like always - practice safe sex!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari is a super hero (and a yohariko shipper)

The two shared a loving hug, neither one of them wanting to let go. Most of their tears dried but both still has reminiscence of single tear lines down their cheeks, and to be fair, they did lose track of time. Mari did need to get back into her office eventually, so she knocked on the door and broke the hug. Yoshiko huffed before going to open the door, letting Mari inside. The blonde’s eyes instantly locked onto Riko’s, concerned about how their dialogue went.

Riko mustered up a smile to show her content, visibly relieving the older girl.

“You two are probably confused on where to go from here, so why don’t you take a seat?”

The two of them looked at each other and silently agreed, knowing that Mari is a person they both need and can trust right now. 

“Yoshiko, I assume you are taking responsibility?” 

“Y-Yes.”

“Good good. And how long ago did you guys…?”, Mari trailed off her sentence.

“A month.. I think”, Yoshiko replied.

“So that means, Riko, you’re probably 4-5 weeks along..”

Yoshiko looked over at her, and recognized a blank stare radiating off of her face. She placed her hand over hers, showing the support needed to snap her back into reality. Riko then processed what Mari just said, nodding in response. 

“And you don’t have to decide now, but you have three options..”, Mari glanced at both of them, making sure both were paying attention.

“Abortion, adoption, or keeping the child.”

A painful silence fell across the room, Riko diverted her eyes to the ground. Another topic she was trying so hard not to think about. She can’t make a decision like this. She darted her eyes up towards Yoshiko, who she caught staring back at her. She felt Yoshiko’s thumb caress her hand. 

“It’s ultimately your decision, I’ll support you no matter what you choose”, Yoshiko said to her.

Mari was shocked at Yoshiko’s maturity level, never seeing or even knowing of this side of her before. The fact that Yoshiko and Riko got together is becoming less and less of a shock to her. 

“I… don’t know. It-It all still feels so unreal, it’s hard to make any kind of decision.”

Mari sympathized, but she needed to make this next statement very clear to them. She moved in closer to her desk and spoke in a very serious manner.

“Look, I know it may seem cruel, but don’t dismiss abortion. Riko, think about the life you have ahead of you. You’re a smart and talented musician, and also a powerful member of Aqours. And Yoshiko, the same goes for you. This was a mistake and you both can move past this. I don’t want you two to drop everything you’ve worked so hard for. If you actually go through with this, you’ll be missing school, concerts, practically your entire teenage lives. You both have bright futures, so just… don’t choose something you’ll regret later on.” 

Both nodded their heads at her advice, letting it sink in that their futures were at stake.

“There is a big difference between a future being teen parents and a future without being teen parents.”

“Is abortion.. even legal here?”, Yoshiko asked.

Riko perked her eyes towards Mari, not knowing that answer herself.

“Well.. Yes, with the reason that it will be financially hard for the both of you..” 

“Is it expensive?”, Riko questioned.

“Don’t worry about that”, Mari said, entailing that she can cover most costs. 

“Thank you Mari, really.. I don’t know what we’d do if you weren’t helping us..”

“It’s O K”, Mari said in English, just hoping to lighten this depressing, tense mood.

“... But don’t feel pressured to make a decision soon! This is something that requires a lot of thought which I don’t think you two can handle right now.. So how about we all go back to class and talk about it again later. Oh and also Riko, it might not be the best idea to go to practice today.”

Riko completely forgot about Aqours practice, even Aqours in general and how her status will interfere. The minute she starts showing, she’ll have to quit being an idol. It will most likely effect Aqours’s reputation, with so many younger girls looking up to them. She can’t do this, she can’t let her own mistake affect the other members after all of the work they have done. 

“Riko.”

The sound of Yoshiko’s voice snapped her back into reality once again. 

“Let’s.. Go back to class”, she tugged her hand slightly, honestly just wanting to get Riko’s mind off of things. 

She nodded, standing up and anxiously brushing herself off. Yoshiko watched her as she sighed heavily and met her eyes.

“Ok”, she forced a smile and gave Yoshiko’s hand a quick squeeze before leaving the room. Just as Yoshiko was heading out too, Mari stopped her.

“Yoshiko.”

Yoshiko legitimately thought she was going to get some type of lecture from the older girl.

“I’m proud of you, Yoshiko.”

She was taken off guard, not expecting to ever hear those words from her.

“Sit down,” Mari asked before continuing, “Yoshiko.. A lot is going to happen in the next few months and to be honest, initially I was really afraid for Riko. But then you walked in and were, like, instantly there for her and stayed strong. You pushed your emotions aside for a moment and even managed to calm her down in a responsible and mature manner. I know this is heavily affecting you as well, the guilt.. the regret.. I saw you feel it as soon as she left the room..”

Yoshiko's eyes widened, amazed at Mari's abilities to see right through her. She definitely did just put on fake strength for Riko's sake and she's definitely feeling as if the dam of that faux strength is cracking. Mari stopped her speech briefly, noticing that Yoshiko was now crying. She smiled, handing her a box of tissues.

“You’re okay now. Let it all out. Like I was saying, you held in your emotions before to let Riko know that she has a strong shoulder that she can lean on. And honestly, if I were in her situation, that’s all I could ever hope for. It’s completely understandable that you’re crying right now. If you continue to be this strong rock for Riko, just know that I am always here, rooting for you two. Please come to me if you need any other moments like this.”

Mari left her desk chair and walked over to Yoshiko, arms extended. Yoshiko jumped out of her chair and into Mari’s comfort. 

“W-What if I can’t? What if I can’t be there for her in the way s-she needs me?”

Through the overflow of emotions, these were the only recognaizable words she could muster. Mari remained silent, but then gripped tighter onto Yoshiko.

“I believe you can, Yoshiko, you already won my bet.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riko's mom finds out about her secret.

Yoshiko spent a little more time with Mari, pouring all of her emotions out to her. She eventually did get herself together enough to return to class. She called her absence a “Guilty Kiss meeting” when Ruby and Hanamaru questioned her, and Yoshiko really did her best to try and act like nothing out of the ordinary happened. 

However, it was harder for Riko.

“Are you okay, Riko?? You were gone for some time, and scaring us just running off like that.”  
Chika and You rushed to her as soon as she got into the classroom, questioning her immediately.

“Uh, yeah I’m fine. I just needed to rest at the nurse’s office for awhile, that’s all.”

The two still seemed suspicious, but decided to just go with it. Riko wasn’t the type to lie straight to their faces, after all. 

“Oh, and I’m going to have to miss practice today.”

Chika’s eyes perked, knowing that Riko rarely misses practice. And if she does, she is usually more apologetic with it. Again, Chika decided not to question it.

“Oh okay.. Get well soon.”

Riko felt her heart sting at those words, turning away from them and finding her seat in the classroom. Her body trembled as she felt their eyes glued to her, as if they actually cared about her. Ever since the two of them have gotten together, she’s been nothing more than a third wheel. But of course, the second she starts seeing someone something like this happens. She just can’t have her way for once in this world. She could feel herself wanting to cry again, but she held it back. She couldn’t stand the idea of dealing with Chika and You again. 

Finally, the school day was over. She had gotten a few text messages from Yoshiko, just asking how she was feeling and if she wanted to meet up with her before she went off to practice. Being honest, she told her that she was still feeling terrible and just wanted to go home for the day. So her she stood, preparing her umbrella for her rainy walk home. 

Yes, it was the same umbrella that she shared with Yoshiko just a few months ago. Looking at it now, it felt like years ago. However, she appreciated the positive energy it radiated. 

Arriving home, she turned the knob on her door and entered her doorway.

“I’m home.” 

Silence. Usually her mom would approach her, asking her about her day. But today, there was nothing. Riko walked further into the house, looking for her mom. She peered into the kitchen,finding her mom sitting at the table with her head in her hands. 

“Mom…?”

“How could you Riko!!?” 

Her mom stood up abruptly. Riko realized what she was holding before it went flying across the room. The plastic stick hit a wall, then fell to the floor with a clink.

“H-How did y-you..”, Riko was stunned.

“I was just taking out your trash, and I just happened to find that damn little stick telling me that MY 16 year old daughter is pregnant.”

Riko regretted not hiding it better. 

“Mom.. I…” 

“Don't ‘mom I’ me. This is serious, I thought you knew better. And with Yoshiko, out of all people? She's 15 Riko!”

“H-How did you find out about her..?”

“I'm not stupid, Riko. You've been spending so much time with her, and I already spoke with her mom.” 

“You told her mom already?”, Riko tensed at the thought.

“Yes. She's just as upset as I am. Aren't you aware of the future both of you have? And what happened to the morals I have taught you? Why didn't you use protection?”

Riko knew her mom would continue asking these stressful questions, and after all she has gone through today, she really can't handle it anymore. 

Loudly, Riko spoke, “Mom! I've been asking myself these questions all day. I haven't once stopped regretting my decision, I've learned my lesson and after the terrible day I have had, I don't want to hear it anymore. I know I screwed up, I know I'm too young.”

Riko started tearing up, “I understand that I failed you as daughter, I failed Aqours, I failed my friends, and I failed Yoshiko. I would do anything to change what happened. But already, just after talking to Yoshiko and another good friend, I learned that I can't change what happened but I have to look forward and find a solution. And all I could ever want from you right now is just your support.” 

Riko wiped away her tears and tried to appear strong. Against the odds, Riko’s mom calmed down and her face became more sympathetic. She sat back down and the room became silent. Her mom thought deeply, while Riko began to go numb to all of the emotions inside of her.

The saddened mother stood up again, this time less angry and nodding her head.

“Y-You're right, dear. You probably have learned your lesson already. I'm still upset with you, but that doesn't give me the right to disregard my job as a mother.”

She embraced Riko into her arms and gave her a loving hug. Riko hugged back, the feeling of warmth fought the numbness inside her. 

“Thanks mom..”, Riko whispered.

She held back tears, not wanting or planning on crying anymore today. 

“You're welcome.. Can we sit down so you can tell me the details of this?”

Riko nodded and they took their seats.

“So…?”, her mom asked.

Riko explained everything from the regretful night her and Yoshiko shared, her absence of knowledge about proper safe sex, and today with Mari and Yoshiko. By the end, her mom looked more relieved for some reason, and also expressed more sympathy than before.

“Thank you for telling me all of this, Riko.. To be honest I might've just gotten angry right away and didn't even consider your side of this. I get it, you just didn't know any better. It still wasn't the right thing to do, but I won't be angry at you.”

Her mom put her hand on her shoulder and looked compassionately into her eyes. Her increasingly level of comfort got cut off by a knock at the door.

Her mom sprouted up, answering the door quickly. Riko heard the rain from outside and wondered who could be visiting at this hour. She took her phone out of her pocket as she normally would, passing the time until the guest would leave and her mom would return to her. However, this did not go as planned.

“Yoshiko..”, her mom gasped in disbelief.

Riko’s heart stopped when she heard that name roll off of her mom’s tongue. She whipped around quickly, seeing Yoshiko’s silhouette and already sensing not-so-good vibes. She rushed over to her, the closer she got the more her eyes focused on a blackened eye, a reddened face, and the overall presence of an extremely weakened girl. Riko’s heart stopped.

“Y-Y-Yoshiko?? W-What..”

Yoshiko didn’t answer, but rather stare off into the distance and continued to let the rain pour down on her. Riko instinctively pulled the girl inside, noticing the girl was getting soaked. While pulling her inside, she also pulled her in for a hug, getting herself wet too. 

“Riko…”

“What happened Yoshiko?”

Yoshiko’s eyes glanced over to Riko’s mom, who was standing farther back now with an expression of guilt plastered on her face. Closing her eyes, she sobbed into Riko’s shoulder as a reply. 

Riko guided her over to their living room, offering a place for her to sit. She hastily found a blanket, wrapping it around Yoshiko to prevent her from getting sick. All the while Yoshiko was sobbing, so Riko took her seat next to her and grasped her hands tightly. 

“My mom.. S-She found out and got really angry. She just kicked me out into the rain….and told me to never come back.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am sad now, realizing there will probably be no chapters of this story that aren't angsty. Damn.

Riko was stunned. She never thought of Yoshiko’s mom as that kind of person. But here Yoshiko was, lying against her in tears, beaten and broken. Honestly, Riko couldn’t find the right words to say. This was the worst thing that could have happened to Yoshiko. 

“What am I supposed to do Riko? I can’t be like this, I can’t give you all that you need like this, how am I supposed to support you when I don’t even have a home or any money or even strength.. I’m so pathetic.. “

Even at a time like this, Yoshiko was only thinking about her. So selfless, it was obvious to Riko that this girl would put everything on the line for Riko in a heartbeat. Just like Yoshiko promised early. That was all Riko ever needed, all that she could ever want.

“Yoshiko… The fact that right now, everything you’re saying is in the regards to me is a strength beyond imaginable.. I don’t think you’re pathetic, I don’t think you are any weaker than you were a few hours ago. I.. I can’t even believe what your mother is doing to you right now.. It wasn’t your fault.. She’s throwing away your relationship and she doesn’t even know your side of the story!”

“I tried telling her it was a mistake, I tried everything. But it was like I was talking to a brick wall who only knew the words ‘whore’ and ‘hermaphrodite’.”

“I’m so sorry Yoshiko.. You’re welcomed to stay here for as long as you need.”

Yoshiko nodded softly, not wanting to take advantage of everything Riko is giving her. 

“Look at me Yocchan.”

Yoshiko couldn’t help but blush at that silly nickname of hers, she hasn’t heard it in a while after all. A weak smile was shone at Riko, but it was all she needed to smile back.

“You’re… amazing. I never want you to think you’re not enough for me. You’re all I could ever want and more, like a 1000 times more. Yoshiko.. I.. I love you.” 

Riko was choking on her own words, tearing up now too. She wasn’t planning on saying that today, but it just felt right. As if it needed to be said and she sensed Yoshiko needed some reassurance. Letting it settle in, Riko has been in love with Yoshiko for a while now, but these past 24 hours made her fall a lot harder. She’d do anything for this girl and she pictures herself spending the rest of her life with her. The great thing is, Riko wasn’t even worried about what she’d say back because she already knew. 

Yoshiko’s weak smile grew into something much greater. The tears still fell and all of her emotions felt like soup, but one thing was clear for her.

“I love you too.. More than anything else in the world.” 

Of course, all Riko wanted to do was kiss Yoshiko, just as a way of proving her love. But she can’t do that, she wasn’t in any place to do so. Both of them already knew that they can’t have a normal high school relationship. At least not right now. She learned her lesson, she learned what they did before was not rooted from love. Having felt both lust and love, she realized how wanting a kiss to satisfy lust differs from a kiss born from love. Even if the want to kiss her is rooted from love, why does she still feel bad about wanting to? 

Interrupting her thoughts, she heard the sound of footsteps approaching. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but there is a bath ready and some of Riko’s old clothes for you, we don’t want you getting sick”, her mom offered light-heartedly.

Yoshiko was still very wet from being outside in the rain for however long, so Riko encouraged her to warm up in the bath. Once Yoshiko left the room, there was still one more thing she needed to take care of. 

“Mother.. You said you were the one that told Yoshiko’s mom, right?”

Her mom perked up towards her, as if she was waiting for this question.

“Well, yes… But I didn’t know her mom would react that way. You know, I wouldn’t have told her if I knew she was going to be that extreme with it.”

“You shouldn’t have told her at all.”

“I know, honey. I’m sorry. I’ll let Yoshiko stay here for as long as she needs.”

It was hard for Riko to forgive her mother, but she decided to push away those thoughts because she definitely had more important things to think about. Although, she didn't want to think about that either. Her attention should be on Yoshiko, she decided. After all, Yoshiko has always been there for her. Now it's her turn.

“There's a spare futon in the back. I'll let her sleep in your room, but I think it's fair to say there will be punishments if I find you two sleeping together.” 

Riko sighed, the urge to rebel already igniting inside of her. She hurried away from her mom, hoping she can realize her anger at her. Grabbing the spare futon, she set it up right next to her bed. Apparently, she was so worked up that it was radiating off of her. 

“It’s not your mom’s fault, Riko.”

Riko recognized the voice and turned her head quickly, revealing Yoshiko standing in her doorway. Her hair was still wet and she looked awfully cute in her old t-shirt and baggy pants. Sighing, she silently agreed. Yoshiko walked over to her and offered her a hand. Taking the offer, she stood up next to her. Hands still interlocked, she studied Yoshiko’s face. That’s right, Riko shouldn’t be so consumed in her own emotions when the closest one in front of her is in a much greater pain. 

She cupped Yoshiko’s face, grazing her thumb over her bruised eye.

“I thought about what you said before, and I’m trying to believe it too.. It’s just.. I-I’m still scared”, Yoshiko’s voice cracked.

Riko responded by pulling her in close, letting her wrap her arms around her once more. Their tight embrace was enough to cure any fear, which only broke Yoshiko down more. Riko’s heart clenched at the sound of Yoshiko quiet sobs in her shoulder. She pushed her back a bit, just enough to make eye contact with her again. Yoshiko saw the compassion in her eyes, the purity of her love just from the faint smile Riko shone to her. Her hands fell to around her neck, and the next thing she felt was her lips attached to Riko’s. 

A feeling like no other. This wasn’t their first kiss, but it sure felt like it. Riko realized where she was wrong before, she is in the right place to kiss Yoshiko. This kiss meant more than feeling those pumps of adrenaline, or those longed tingles going right through her. Lust wasn’t anywhere in her mind, but rather the want to tell Yoshiko that everything will be okay. Because they were together. Because they were connected. Connected in a way that intimacy can never bring, in a way that neither of them could fully understand. With locked lips, both of them now knew the difference between lust and love.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all goes downhill from here.

Riko parted her ways with Yoshiko when they reached the school, going to their classroom for the day. She was feeling a lot better than yesterday, so she tried extra hard to make it seem like everything was okay in front of her fellow classmates. Still, You shot her some ‘are you okay?’ looks during class. For some reason, that Riko was unaware of, Chika never looked at her. She didn’t even say hi or good morning to her, which definitely sparked some concern in Riko. However, it wasn’t until the end of the day when Chika finally approached her. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”, Chika asked Riko with a rather stern voice. 

Instantly, Riko panicked. There was no way Chika could have found out, was there? She felt her stomach churn, and it wasn’t from the nausea. 

“Y-Yeah, sure.”

Riko followed Chika to an empty classroom nearby. Once inside, Chika confronted Riko.

“What’s wrong?”

Riko hid her relief, thanking the world that Chika didn’t know what was actually wrong.

“Nothing!”, Riko perked up, “I was just not feeling well yesterday. I’m better now.”

She did feel some guilt, lying to Chika’s face like that. But she knew she had to, it was better this way. 

“No. Don’t give me that. I know you Riko, it’s not like you to not respond to any of my texts or to not open your window for an entire day just because you’re ‘sick’.”

Riko was taken aback by her claims. She quickly pulled out her phone, noticing the 20-something messages from Chika. How did she miss these? 

“I-I’m sorry Chika, I.. I didn’t see any of them…” 

“And what about your window? Of course I’m worried when you don’t open it all day..”

Riko realized she had a point there, they talk from their houses on an almost daily basis. She also normally always has her curtains open. But yesterday, with Yoshiko there and all, she had to keep them shut. As she was thinking all of this, she let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry Chika, but I promise you I’m okay”, Riko said quietly, her eyes now glued to the ground.

“Now it’s obvious you’re lying. I’m your best friend, Riko. You can tell me what’s really wrong”, Chika said in a softer voice now, much more comforting.

Riko pondered the thought of telling her the actual truth, but shot down the idea immediately. She fiddled with her fingers in her hand. To her shock, Chika grabbed them, and held her hands tightly. 

“Please, Riko. I’m worried.”

No, she couldn’t tell her. She wasn’t going to. Riko gulped back the words she was going to say, skimming her mind for another excuse she could use. 

“Riko. I’m your best friend”, Chika repeated, now demanding. Riko’s thoughts became a blur.

“Please, Riko.”

“I’m.. I’m pregnant.” 

Riko stunned herself by actually saying those words. She instantly regretted it. A single tear fell down from the corner of her eye, feeling Chika’s hands leave hers. 

“Are you serious?”

Chika’s tone of voice made Riko’s heart hurt. She was the last person she wanted to tell. 

“I.. I-It was an acci-”

Chika cut her off, “No. I don’t want to hear it. I thought you were better than that.” 

Riko looked up at her, using pity as her last resort. She tried looking into Chika’s eyes, looking for any signs of hope, but Chika looked away too quickly. 

“I-I’m sorry..”, Riko’s tears grew heavier now. 

“I was right the second I got suspicious. I don’t know you at all. Don’t bother coming to practice, we can’t have scum like you ruining our image.” 

With that, Chika left the room. Anger controlled her as she went into the practice room. Everything they have been working for, everything the 9 girls have been dreaming of- could be ruined. Chika sat herself down and dug her fingers into her hair. She made the right choice, she can’t have Riko in their group. They would just have to make some adjustments, that was all. Chika noticed wet spots on the table beneath her. Her cold hands felt her cheeks. They were wet too. Were those her tear? She didn’t care, the only thing on her mind was how Riko, the girl she met on the beach less than a year ago, could betray her this severely. 

You walked in moments after, dashing to Chika’s side the minute she felt the dark mood. 

“Chika? What’s wrong?!”, You anxiously put a hand on her back.

Chika wiped her eyes and gritted the words, “It’s Riko, she’s pregnant.” 

You’s eyes widened. Did she hear her correctly?

“P-Pregnant?”

You wondered if Chika could see the terror in her eyes. Riko, their closest friend, pregnant? It seemed too unreal. Chika didn’t respond, rather she just stared at the table with dead eyes. 

“Where is she?”, You asked, concern growing over fear.

“It doesn’t matter,” Chika answered, “She betrayed us, You. How could she go and do that? She must have known that our reputation was on the line. She threw it all away.”

You could see what Chika was getting at. Idols are supposed to be role models for younger children. Just the fact that Riko would risk their reputation for whatever reason was betrayal enough. Sure, You and Chika themselves were in a relationship, but they made sure to keep it low-key and promised to not do those sort of things until after their idol careers. Riko was just irresponsible. Although a part of her was still trying to sympathize for their best friend, most of her agreed with Chika’s decision. 

“Did you kick her out of Aqours?”, You asked.

“Yeah. I have to tell the rest of the girls too, we need rules.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to make one character REALLY mean, so with Dia being the most traditional, she's bearing the heavy task. I do love her and all the characters though, but this chapter definitely does not prove that. rip dia and chikariko lovers.

The 6 other Aqours members arrived shortly. They sensed the atmosphere immediately and took their seats. Hanamaru whispered, “Where's Riko?” to Ruby, who shrugged her shoulders. This brought attention to Riko's absence, where Yoshiko grew increasingly anxious. Chika cleared her throat, letting the girl's know that she had something to discuss. 

“I thought this was obvious. What are idols to children and teens? We aren’t here just to sing and dance. They look up to us…girls look up to us. We can’t set a bad image, it’ll ruin us! That’s why.. The girl missing here today will not return.”

The mood in the room was already low, but it just dropped a whole lot lower. Mari quickly looked Yoshiko’s way but wasn’t shocked when she saw her head down, avoiding eye contact with everyone. She listened to the questions and concerned looks on everyone’s faces, then she looked back at Chika, wondering what she was going to do. 

“I know you guys are going to ask, so yes, Riko.. went and got herself pregnant.”

Mari couldn’t believe Chika was stooping this low, not only kicking her friend out but also spreading the news in such a negative way. Mari noticed Yoshiko again, trembling with anger. She knew she must be holding everything back to not lash out at Chika. The awful silence in the room was eating her alive, she needed to do something. 

“Chika, do you know her situation? She’s hurting right now, and you’re supposed to be her friend.”

Chika looked at Mari as if she was insane. She placed her hands on the table and leaned in.

“Are you defending her? After what she has done to us? I don’t care about her situation, because she obviously doesn’t care about Aqours if she can just throw it all away like that! I made the right choice by kicking her out. I’d rather choose all 8 of our dreams, our goals, over one friendship.”

Mari began to stand, ready to argue in defense of her friend, but felt a hand hold her down.

“She’s right, Mari. Riko was irresponsible and has to face her consequences”, Kanan said calmly. 

“But she didn’t know any better! She’s young!”, Mari faced Kanan earnestly.

Dia added in her opinion, “That doesn’t matter. I’d go as far as calling her a whore, and she definitely can’t face the idol world again.”

Mari’s mouth gaped open at Dia’s response. She knew Dia was strict, but that’s going too far.

“How can you say that? We all know Riko, she isn’t like this!”

“Mari, I’d ban her from the school if I had the power to. People change, we can’t have a person like her representing us”, Dia continued being incredibly harsh.

Mari was left astonished at how close-minded Dia was, it was as if she was seeing another side of her that she never saw before. Chika interrupted their altercation by addressing her attention to the other side of the table.

“First years? Any opinions?”

Ruby glanced at the floor, then at Dia. It was obvious to anyone in the room that she would take after her sister’s beliefs. After all, if she didn’t, she would be scolded.

“I agree with my sister”, she said quietly. 

Chika glanced at Hanamaru, who also was staring at the ground. When Hanamaru realized that eyes were on her, her eyes peeked at Yoshiko, who was still silent, and then back at Chika. She had pity in her eyes.

“I-I don’t know what to think..”

“Yoshiko?”, Chika asked next. 

The room was hit with that dreadful silence yet again. With her bangs covering her lowered face, no one could see Yoshiko’s expression. Only Mari could imagine what she was feeling. Suddenly, Yoshiko shot her head up, revealing her gritted teeth and tear-filled eyes. She walked over to Chika and grabbed her by the collar.

“How can you be so heartless? She was your closest friend! She opened up to you and you tossed her aside, and now you stand here and try to tell us is was for the best? Isn’t this group supposed to be based on friendship?”

Closest to them, Kanan stood up abruptly. Yoshiko looked like she was really going to hurt Chika.

“Let her go, Yoshiko”, Kanan threatened.

Yoshiko released her grip roughly, making Chika stumble backwards.

“Don’t you think I’m hurt too? We were supposed to be idols together, it was both of our dreams! She threw that all away!”, Chika screamed desperately.

“I can’t stand to here this, you’re utterly the worst person I have ever met. You know, screw it. I’m the one that got Riko pregnant. It was me.”

Every single mouth in that small room dropped once more, including Mari’s. She didn’t believe Yoshiko was going to break like that. But it didn’t really shock her, the amount of emotions visibly controlling here were endless. 

Chika on the other hand, lowered her head to Yoshiko. Disbelief, confusion, anger, and maybe even regret radiated off of her, the tears falling off her cheeks were visible to everyone. Without making eye contact, she rose a shaky arm and pointed towards the door.

“Get out.”

“I will. I wouldn’t want to be in a group that throws away their friends so easily anyways.” 

Mari made quick eye contact with Yoshiko before she rushed out the doorway. She noticed immediately that although Yoshiko’s voice was confident, her eyes were filled with fear.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari does some convincin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, Kanamari and Chikayou are the other relationships~

“They’re both damned! Such activity at their age cannot be condoned.”

Dia spoke her opinion once Yoshiko left the room. You was comforting Chika, who was crying over either shock, fear, regret- no one knew for sure. Hanamaru stared at the open space where Yoshiko was previously at in disbelief. Ruby kept her eyes on the ground, probably feeling guilty for ever being friends with a girl that Dia now despised. 

The silence in the room is one Mari can only describe as piteous. Not that any of the girls were showing pity towards Yoshiko and Riko, but because Mari almost felt pity for them. The ability to throw out their closest friends out just because of a stereotype was something Mari thought was unreal.They didn’t know their story. They weren’t there to witness both Riko and Yoshiko breaking down in the third year’s arms, pleading for their future to change. Mari felt as if everyone was just being selfish.

“Yoshiko is right. You guys are heartless. Are you all really just going to sit here with closed-minds while those two are out there suffering? Do you want them to be alone through this? We have the ability to be there for them with open arms through their time of need.”

“Practice is canceled. Everyone should go home.”

Chika stopped Mari from saying anything else. She didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to look at Mari, knowing the anger on her face already. She wiped her eyes again, grabbed her bag, and left the room. You followed behind her. Next, Dia got up and approached Ruby, reaching out her hand. Ruby looked up at her with watery eyes, but took her hand anyways. Dia lead her out of the room. 

All that was left was Mari, Kanan, and Hanamaru. 

“Hanamaru, at least you, please see Yoshiko’s side in this! She needs a friend right now. She needs you”, Mari walked over to her and put a comforting hand on her back.

“I-I just can’t believe she would do something like that.. I didn’t think she was that kind of person zura..”

“If you hear her side of the story, it actually makes a lot of sense. She’s being very responsible with it though, but it’s really hard on her. She feels guilty.”

Hanamaru nodded her head to Mari’s words.

After a minute of silence, she mumbled, “Y-You’re right. I-I just care about her so much...” 

“I know you do, and it’s going to be rough after today. I’m quite positive the group is going to be in a low for awhile.”

Hanamaru nodded again, then picked up her things. She hurried out of the room and immediately went searching for Yoshiko.

“And you,” Mari turned to Kanan after Hanamaru left, “You realize the situation they’re in right?” 

Kanan put her arms up behind her head, not responding to Mari’s question. 

“They just got wrapped up in their emotions. I’ve seen them Kanan, I watched them hold each other while they both cried because they were scared, because something like this is getting in the way of their love and future together,” Mari took some deep breaths to soften her voice.

“They reminded me of us. You know that feeling when we first got together? It was incredible.. It was something new to the both of us. We didn’t know how to deal with it, or even what to make of it. We were young, dammit, we’re still young. They’re still young.” 

Kanan listened to her carefully, although she already knew where this was going.

“It could’ve happened to us. God, it could still happen to us! Don’t tell me they were irresponsible, you know damn well what a mix of love and lust could do to a person.”

“Mari, I…”, Kanan tried to calm her down.

“What would you do if this happened to us?”

The room fell into that pit of silence once more. Kanan stood up so she was eye to eye with Mari. She had a stern look on her fear, which made Mari’s regret asking.

However, her face softened and her eyes fell to the floor.

“You’re right, Mari. I’d drop everything and support you instantly.”

Mari almost cracked a smile at her response, but remained in defense. 

“Now put yourself in Yoshiko’s place. You have this new responsibility, this new guilt that won’t be going away for awhile, and you’re sitting in on a meeting where everyone is just saying how I was irresponsible and acting like a whore.”

Kanan bit her lip, and although her eyes were on the ground, Mari could see the emotion in them. She instinctively rubbed her shoulder, hoping Kanan could see a different side to this. 

Her eyes lifted up to meet Mari’s, “I get it.. I have to apologize to Yoshiko. I don’t know what I can do, but I’ll let them know I’m here to help.”

This time, Mari let her smile shine through. She knew this was a step, even if it was just one person. She nodded gently at her and took her hand.

“Thank you, Kanan. They really need us.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for that very long hiatus - school has been a d r e a d. I managed to render this short chapter tho, so I hope you enjoy!

Hanamaru rushed through the hallways of their school earnestly, in search of her best friend. Although her mind was full of questions, concern, and even a bit of anger, she couldn’t help but let the thought of Yoshiko’s pained face overpower all of that. Why didn’t she tell her? Hanamaru thought she was the closest to Yoshiko and especially the one that understood her the most. Maybe that was selfish of her to think, but regardless, she just wanted Yoshiko to be able to trust her. If it wasn’t for Mari, she would still be caught up in these emotions. With that pained face in mind, Hanamaru knew that right now, she just had to focus on supporting Yoshiko. 

She stopped shuffling her feet when she heard the faint cries coming from an abandoned classroom. 

“I-It’s okay... We don’t need them..”

Hanamaru recognized Yoshiko’s voice immediately. She pressed her back against the wall next to the doorway. Leaning over her shoulder, she peeked into the room. Her eyes immediately laid upon Riko and Yoshiko near the windows. Riko had her forehead on Yoshiko’s shoulder and Yoshiko was gripping her tightly. Not wanting to interrupt, she looked away and listened from outside. 

“I… I didn’t think Chika would be that upset... I don’t know what I was thinking, why did I have to tell her?”

Hanamaru’s heart sank while she listened to Riko’s sobs, which only made her wonder what could possibly be running through Yoshiko’s mind. 

“She didn’t even let me explain, how could she be so mean to me? A-And she told the rest of Aqours? How could she…”, Riko pleaded out, her cries heavying.

Yoshiko’s silence scared Hanamaru. But soon, her ears picked up on a lower, deeper cry. Tears filled up in the corner of Hanamaru’s eyes; the mix of Yoshiko’s and Riko’s cries radiated their emotions so clearly. Just last week Yoshiko was inviting her to make a summoning circle with her, and somehow, now she’s outside a classroom, not being able to do anything while she listens to her cry. She slouched down onto the floor, her back and head leaning against the wall and her arms wrapped around her knees. Hearing footsteps from the other side of the hallway, she quickly turned to reveal Mari and Kanan heading out together. She made eye contact with Mari, who immediately picked up her pace and started walking towards her with Kanan following. Hanamaru held up a finger to her lips, signaling for them to be quiet. 

As they got closer, Hanamaru recognized from their dampened expression that they also head the soft cries. Mari called her towards her, so she quietly got up and joined them.

“W-What should we do, zura?”, Hanamaru whispered to the blonde.

Mari bit her lip and walked past Hanamaru, quietly approaching the classroom. She listened a little longer, but her heart couldn’t take hearing her two friends suffering so deeply. Mari knocked on the classroom door before letting herself in. Yoshiko was first to notice and her eyes met Mari’s, only resembling gentleness. Riko untucked her head from Yoshiko’s shoulder and looked at Mari as well. She pulled away from Riko but remained by her side.

“Sorry to intrude..”, Mari’s voice was low.

Yoshiko nodded her head, welcoming her. Both of them knew Mari’s presence was comforting, either from her being an upperclassman or the fact that she was just a good friend. To their surprise, Mari signaled her hand for the two other girls could come in. 

“We want to tell you that we’re here for you. I’m sure the rest of the girls will come along eventually too.”

Kanan and Hanamaru stood next to her proudly, agreeing with what Mari was saying. Hanamaru immediately caught Yoshiko’s eye and to Yoshiko’s surprise, Hanamaru smiled at her. It was a gentle smile that filled Yoshiko with the strength that she so desperately needed. Knowing that Hanamaru didn't allow judgment or peer pressure to get the best of her, she took a strong hold of Riko’s hand before clenching her eyes shut and bowing in front of them.

“Thank you!”, she said loudly and abruptly.

Although her eyes were shut, tears still fell onto the floor. Following her, Riko bowed too but was unable to say anything. 

“You girls,” Mari stepped closer to them, “We should be the ones bowing for forgiveness.”

Mari pushed against their shoulders, encouraging both of them to stand straight. She looked them both dead in the eye before taking a deep breath.

"I need you both to look past the other members. They were rude, close-minded, and purely insecure. When they heard the news, they only reacted out of anger because they were too afraid of this reality. They were afraid to put themselves in your place, which is needed to show any kind of sympathy. That's why they rush to the societal standard because they are unable to form an opinion on their own. They are sheltered, controlled, and judgemental and they don't know the first thing about your story- so don't let them change it."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riko makes a decision.

Weeks passed and the awful glares from Chika and some others continued. Riko and Yoshiko lived in fear of the rest of the school finding out, and could only imagine what would come with that. Mari recognized the stress and anxiety they were suffering, so she suggested that they come into her office at least once a week or whenever they just needed to escape. But neither of them showed up once. Mari could try being more persistent with them, but she knew that wasn’t going to help the external problem. 

“Papa... I’m just wondering what you would do if a girl at our school got pregnant and was being made fun of. Our bullying policies still apply right? I don’t see why they wouldn’t…”

Mari created this “hypothetical” situation to get her answer.

“Why are you asking me this, Mari? Is there something you’re not tell-”

Mari realized his suspicion as his volume got louder. Scared, she quickly cut him off.  
“No no! It’s no one, papa. It’s hypothetical.”

“It better be. A daughter like mine would never do such a thing.”

Mari was about to say something but decided to save it for another day. 

“But what if it happened to someone in school? Can I reinforce stricter bullying policies?”

“I don’t think that’s necessary Mari..”

“What do you mean? I think it’s more than necessary, in fact, we should update our discrimination policy too-”

“That’s enough Mari. Things are fine as they are, and it’s not our place to step into their personal lives.” 

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t do anything? Is that really what you're telling me?”

“It’s a different situation than our current bullying policies, Mari. It’s not my place to step in and change it for something like that.”

His voice got sterner, and the last thing Mari heard was the slamming of the phone on the other side. That was her last hope of changing the attitude of the school as a whole, and she was sure Riko and Yoshiko wouldn’t appreciate it if she made her own announcements of her own. Mari figured that would be embarrassing, so she was left with having to talk to the two directly and try to comfort them once more. 

Knocking on the door, Mari stood outside Riko’s house. As soon as Riko opened the door, Mari hugged her tightly. 

“Mari... You don’t have to do this.”

Riko’s arms made no effort to hug Mari back. The blonde retracted her arms from her, letting out a quiet sigh. 

“I’m doing this because I want to.”

Riko moved to the side to let Mari in.

 

“Where’s Yoshiko?”

Mari helped herself in and sat on a couch in the living room, signaling for Riko to follow her.

“Work.”

She raised her eyebrows and looked at her, “Oh, where does she work?”

Riko shrugged her shoulders and looked at the ground in response, giving off strange energy to Mari. Although suspicious, Mari could sense Riko did not want to talk about it any further. Actually, it seemed as if Riko didn’t want to talk at all.

“How have you two been doing?”

Mari showed a sympathetic smile, desperate to break the tension in the room. 

 

They were long, dreadful minutes of silence. Riko remained unresponsive as she laid back against the couch, gazing straight ahead with absolutely no emotion in her eyes. Her hands lay at her sides and she let out a long exhale through her nose. 

“It’s.. hard, Mari.”

Her voice sounded broken and her words only anchored the energy deeper. Mari put a hand on her shoulder, emitting no reaction from Riko.

“Please talk to me, Riko. I know there’s not really anyone else you can go to. It’s not good to keep it all inside.”

“I can’t find the words.”

Mari slightly rubbed Riko’s shoulder; she was ready to be as patient as she needed to be. 

“It’s just... Even though I have you and Yoshiko... I still feel alone. Like the world is against me. I haven’t had any energy lately and I always feel sick. I’m just tired of it all.”

Mari’s heart hurt for her, so much that it caused her to be speechless.

“I want an abortion. I can’t handle this anymore. It’s just too much.”

Her eyes widened at Riko’s declaration. Mari knew this was the choice she has been pushing, but hearing Riko mutter those words didn’t lighten the mood at all.

“Ok, I’ll arrange it for you and Yoshiko and I will be with you every step of the way. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. I’m really proud of you, Riko.”

Riko looked toward Mari, exposing the trickles of tears slowly falling down her cheeks. 

“And listen to me Riko, you’re not a whore. You aren’t anything those girls say you are. Remember what I said, they are selfish and don’t deserve you. You’re more than them and they could never handle this situation as well as you are.”

Mari wiped Riko’s cheeks with her thumb, supplying a consoling smile across her own face. 

“Thanks, Mari. Do you know how soon you can make an appointment?”

“Hm... I’d say by this weekend.”

It was already late into the week, but Mari couldn’t tell if the proximity of the date was a good thing or bad thing by Riko’s expression. Rather than dwell on it, Mari’s attention switched over to Yoshiko, who was entering through the front door. Yoshiko seemed surprised by the unexpected guest but the aura of the two explained her visit. Wanting to put her bag away first, Yoshiko passed them and made her way upstairs. Riko could tell Mari was thoroughly confused, most likely at Yoshiko’s lack of work clothes and the sour attitude she also carried.

“She’ll be back, she’s probably just dropping off her stuff.”

Riko was right; Yoshiko joined the two on the couch shortly after. She sat next to Riko, who immediately took her hand.

“Yoshiko, I decided on an abortion.” 

Mari could see Yoshiko’s grip on her hand tighten and could feel a lighter presence off of the younger girl. 

“I’m glad. I think this is really for the best.” 

“You do?”

“Yeah, it would be hard either way, but I think this option will be a little less hard.”

Riko nodded her head to Yoshiko’s somewhat positive view. Wrapping her arms around her, the two shared a close hug. Although, they separated at the sniffles of the other girl in the room. Both looked at Mari, who had tears pouring out of her eyes and a satisfying smile across her lips.

“I-I’m sorry, I really am proud of you two..”, Mari goofingly rubbed her eyes.

The pair moved closer to Mari and smiled along with her.

“We couldn’t do this without you. I don’t know how we will ever make it up to you”, Yoshiko put a hand on Mari’s back.  
“I just want both of you to make it through this and come out strong, stronger than you ever were before”, Mari spoke clearly. 

Riko and Yoshiko looked at each other and interlocked their hands once more. 

“We’ll try our best.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter really was just to push the plot - whoops! I promise the next chapter will be more exciting haha. Also, I'm thinking of ideas for my next story! I'm feeling Yohariko or Kanamari, of course, but need some plot ideas. It could really be anything - fluff, comedy, or some killer angst. Leave some suggestions below! I'll take anything really :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of love <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow was I inactive haha I'm sorry, school has been like triple hell. But now it's thanksgiving break and I can actually do stuff! Enjoy this fluffy chapter! Definitely going to be wrapping up this story in the next chapter or two, it was fun <3

It was Thursday evening in the small town of Uchiura. Just the day before, Riko told Mari her decision and Mari agreed to schedule the abortion. Now that that was taken care of, Riko thought she had one more situation to take care of. After a couple weeks of constant glares, sour attitudes, and complete disrespect, Riko knew she had to face them.

 

\--

“I’m going to get an abortion. Please, allow Yoshiko and I to rejoin Aqours.”

Riko bowed in front of Chika and You. They remained silent. She came up from the bow and made direct eye contact. 

“I made a mistake and I’m fixing it. I understa-”

Chika cut her off, “I don’t care what you understand! You put everything at risk--”

“Just listen to me!”

Riko yelled back at her, clenching her fist and closing her eyes. She thought she ran out of tears weeks ago, but here they were again. Her voice was wavering and she was visibly shaking, but somehow, she still managed to speak with some fire deep within her. 

“I thought you two were my friends.. You both have been treating me terribly as if I don’t have enough on my mind. I know I made a mistake and I’m sorry. I don’t know what else you guys want from me, but all I’m asking from you is some goddamn sympathy.” 

Once Riko’s eyes focused again, she saw that both of them looked shocked. Comparing the two, she could tell You felt guilty and had a much more kind look on her face. Chika, on the other hand, was still holding some ground.

“Chika, I think everyone deserves a second chance. And she’s right, she admitted her mistake and apologized, we don’t really need anything else, right?”

Chika laid a cold stare on Riko. The tension in the room made Riko uneasy and uncomfortable. She wondered if the other two felt the same way. Suddenly, Riko made a realization. 

“You know, nevermind. I don’t even know what I would gain from rejoining. More stares, more pain? And that’s exactly what you want, isn’t it? I have no obligation to you or Aqours and I do not wish to be associated with Aqours or you ever again.”

And that was it. Riko turned her back and left, feeling more confident than she ever has in her entire life. The heartbreak of her friends still hurt, but a different weight was lifted off her shoulders. 

Back in the classroom, You faced Chika.

“Are you really going to let her go like that?”

Chika didn’t respond and was still maintaining that cold stare she had since Riko was back in the room.

“Hello? Chika?”

You waved a hand in front of her face. Chika responded by shaking her head, as if getting out of a deep thought, then turning to You. You realized that she still wasn’t making any kind of facial expression and she could only wonder what was going through her head.

“Let’s just go home.”

Chika grabbed You’s hand and led her out of the room quickly. As Chika turned, however, You could have sworn she saw something glistening in her eyes.

\--

Riko told Yoshiko the minute she got home. Yoshiko didn’t know Riko was planning on doing any of this, but she was very supportive and proud that Riko stood up for herself, which was something even Yoshiko could barely do. 

The next day, the two decided to skip school and have the day to themselves. Riko didn’t sleep a lot during the night, mostly because of “morning” sickness. She made note to never believe those words again because the nausea happened at any time of the day, not just the morning. The nausea from the night carried into the morning, so Riko knew it was probably just better to stay home. 

“Is there anything I could do to help? I know you didn’t sleep much last night..”

Yoshiko rolled over in the bed and was saddened by the tired and stressed expression Riko was showing. She shook her head and frowned. Putting the sickness aside, a new thought came across Riko’s mind.

“Do I look pregnant to you?”

From just waking up, this took Yoshiko by surprise. How does she even answer that? 

“Uhh.. Umm.. Yes..? But also.. No?”

Riko squinted her eyes at her, knowing she was avoiding the question. On the other hand, Yoshiko was looking at her, but Riko has only been wearing baggier clothes lately. Even her pajamas were just shorts and a sweatshirt. 

“Now that I think of it, I haven’t noticed any changes in your body because I haven’t seen your body.” 

Riko figured she was right. Feeling that the air temperature wasn’t too cold, she stood up and took off her sweatshirt. 

“So?”, Riko asked delicately, giving Yoshiko some spins.

Yoshiko blushed and looked at her with amazement. It’s true, Riko’s body looked different. Her breasts looked larger and she was actually showing a little tiny bit. Riko has always been skinny, so there was something of a bump there, despite it being only her 8th week.

“You look.. really cute actually..”, Yoshiko said with a large grin across her lips and that same light blush across her cheeks.

For some time, Riko actually thought Yoshiko would never smile like that again. She knew that was extreme to think, but they have just been surrounded by extreme negativity. In the midst of it all, here Yoshiko was, smiling over something as little as this. 

“Yocchan…”, Riko smiled while saying the nickname she hasn’t used in a while.

She stepped closer and cupped Yoshiko’s cheek with her hand, then kissed her lips. The nausea that Riko has been feeling all night and all morning has finally subsided, or maybe Riko just got distracted. Riko was actually feeling better than ever, but perhaps maybe a little too good. The kiss deepened and Riko could feel Yoshiko’s warm hands against the bare skin on her sides. The sensual feeling that ran throughout her entire body was one that she hasn’t felt since- 

Riko sighed and sat on the bed, now with something else on her mind.

“What is it?”, Yoshiko asked, despite knowing what she was going to say.

“Everything just feels so wrong...”

“I know what you mean,” Yoshiko paused and collected her thoughts, “But.. when it comes to stuff that we did, I think we’ve learned our lesson. We, as a couple, can’t really dwell on that and allow it to hold us back, you know? I mean I don’t think the feeling of it being wrong is ever going to disappear if we don’t do anything about it. And it’s not as if we don’t deserve to have sex, we just messed up once.”

Riko blinked at her, kind of shocked at how much she is already maturing. After a few seconds of thinking, Riko responded.

“I think you’re really right about that. Plus, we have nothing to lose now.”

Riko smirked and chuckled at the last part, while Yoshiko scrunched her eyebrows and looked at her, but then smirked back. After a few moments of lovingly staring into each other’s eyes, Yoshiko pulled her closer and into another kiss. This time, they didn’t stop.

\--

Meanwhile, in Mari’s life-

“I’d like to schedule an appointment.”

“No, not for myself.”

“Her name is Riko Sakurauchi, she’s 16 and about 8 weeks along..”

“Yes, I am 18, my name is Mari Ohara.”

“I’ll pay by cash.”

“This Sunday? Alright, thank you very much.”

She held her cell phone in her hand and hit the “End Call” button. She immediately deleted that call log from her phone, in case her parents do any snooping. With all of the plans finally settled, she laid back and sunk into her bed. Closing her eyes, she was just about to drift off when there was a knock on her bedroom door. She groaned, then found her way to the door.

Opening it, a grinning Kanan was revealed. 

“Kanan-?”

Mari got interrupted by Kanan, who exposed the bouquet of flowers she was hiding behind her back. Her mouth opened wide at first, but then a soft blush and smile appeared. 

“I GUESS you can come in”, Mari giggled.

Kanan returned the laugh and walked in. 

“You have this empty vase lying around here- ah here it is- and I always thought it could use some pretty flowers! Plus, I think you deserve them after what you’ve been putting yourself through.” 

Mari audibly “awwed” at her and watched Kanan carefully place the flowers into one of her old vases. It was true, she’s not even sure why she has that vase. When Kanan was finished, she walked over and sniffed them. They smelled just as pretty as they looked.

“They’re perfect, Kanan. Thank you so much!”

She gave Kanan a quick kiss on the cheek. These cute surprises never fail to leave her feeling rejuvenated and loved beyond belief. 

“You’re welcome, love~” 

Kanan proceeded to hop on Mari’s large, comfy bed. 

“So what have you been up to lately?”

Coming down from the high of emotions she was just on, Mari sighed and her expression dampened. Kanan noticed this and patted on the bed next to her. Following, Mari came and leaned her head against Kanan’s shoulder. 

“Well, I just scheduled the appointment for Riko for Sunday.”

“You’re doing so much for these girls, Mari. They must be incredibly thankful.” 

“They are. They don’t really have anyone else I guess… And I also feel bad for them, you know that.”

“Yeah”, Kanan laid back against the headrest, extending her arm out so that Mari could fall back as well. When she did lean back, Kanan wrapped her arm around her.

The blonde cuddled close to her and let her eyes rest. Days like this are always peaceful and Mari could never ask for anything more. 

“Hey Mari…”

“Hm..”, she stirred.

“Do you want to have kids someday?”

Mari opened her eyes and grinned. 

“With you, yes”, she said softly. 

Without even looking, she could tell Kanan was smiling up a storm. 

“I do too. I think you’ll make a really good mom.”

Kanan stroked her thumb along Mari’s shoulder. 

“Yeah. Definitely.”

With that, Mari closed her eyes once again and finally drifted off to sleep.

\--

Back at the Sakurauchi’s. 

Later in the day, Yoshiko was fast asleep in their bed. Riko was in the kitchen, preparing what might have been her 5th meal of the day. She doesn’t really know at this point; it was much too tiring to keep track with all of her crazy cravings. Some days, she’d ask Yoshiko to pick up some strange stuff on her way back from work. But Yoshiko deserved a day off today, so she was stuck with scavenging the kitchen for whatever would relieve her hunger. 

Out of nowhere, Riko felt something under her foot and before she could stop herself, she tripped over it. In an attempt to save herself, she grabbed onto the counter but accidentally hit a glass that came falling down with her. She hit the ground with a thud and heard the glass shatter next to her. After seconds, she opened her eyes and found that both of her arms were protecting her stomach. She froze, momentarily overwhelmed by everything that just happened.

Then, she heard the footsteps running down the steps.

“Riko??”

Yoshiko ran and found Riko in the same position she landed in. 

“Oh my god, are you okay?”, Yoshiko said, extremely worried.

She rushed to her side, noticing the broken glass. Riko seemed to snap out of her daze and got up on her own, not needing any of the help the other girl offered.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine.”

Riko was calm now and looked as if she were telling the truth, so Yoshiko believed her. However, she did notice that Riko was still death-hugging her stomach.

“And what about..”, Yoshiko’s eyes trailed to her arms.

Riko was shocked that she was still in that position, as if she didn’t even notice herself. She took her arms away and looked back at Yoshiko.

“Um yeah, everything feels fine. That was strange though..”

As soon as Yoshiko heard that everything was okay, she started cleaning up the mess. 

“Hm?”

“It’s weird.. I wrapped my arms around my stomach so quickly while falling that I didn’t even notice I was doing it. And I didn’t even protect my head or anything.”

Yoshiko looked up from the floor, “Maternal instinct maybe?”

Riko cringed, despite already knowing that she was correct. Her? Having maternal instinct? Everything felt so weird and the realization that she actually is currently a mother made everything weirder. Just a few months ago, her own mom was packing her lunch for school and now Riko has to eat two lunches to fill herself and her own little breathing baby. Mari told her and Yoshiko that if they form a connection with the fetus by calling it “baby” or anything else sweet, it’ll be harder to handle the abortion emotionally. That made sense to them and they chose to follow it. But now, Riko has realized that some part of her, whether she can help it or not, has a connection to the baby and cares.

“Yeah, that must be it.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh.

Riko was startled. She looked around and didn’t recognize the room she was in, but fear and anxiety did not exist. Instead, she felt warm and comfortable. She found a stairway at the end of the mysterious room and without even making a conscious choice, she was walking down it. To her discovery, there was a nice-looking living room with a kitchen connected to it. After stepping off the last step, she realized she was not alone. 

A small girl with long, periwinkle hair sat on a chair that was much too big for her. She looked well focused on the children’s book she was reading, but after staring at her for that long, the young girl noticed her. She looked at Riko with big eyes and a big smile, then waved at her excitingly. 

How cute…, Riko thought. 

Then, she noticed the other person in the room. She recognized Yoshiko immediately, despite her vision starting to fade. She seemed like she was cutting vegetables, as there was an apron tied around her neck and waist. Her vision continued to blur, but before she completely couldn’t see, she whiped back over to the small girl and gasped.

“Is that…---”

~

“Ah!”

Riko jumped up in her bed. She instantly tried to remember what the girl looked like, but the image had already left her mind. The only part she did remember was the warmth in her heart that still lingered.

“R-Riko? Are you okay?”

Groggily, Yoshiko opened her eyes and looked up at Riko. 

“Yoshiko, I dreamed about her-- I mean.. the fetus!”, Riko said in a hushed tone.

“It’s a girl?!”, she questioned immediately. 

Yoshiko sat up with Riko, definitely more awake now.

“It was weird, I don’t remember what she looks like but you were in it too! You were.. cooking or something..” 

Knowing this wasn’t the best thing for Riko the morning before her abortion, she sighed.

“That’s cool and all, but how about we go back to sleep? Just try and forget about that dream, you really need some sleep Riko. We have a busy day ahead of us.”

Yoshiko rolled over, tugging at the blankets. Riko knew what Yoshiko was getting at; that dream really was the last thing she needed today. Her best option was to forget this dream completely and go back to sleep. However, now that she felt and remembered that powerful warmth, she knew that was going to be impossible. 

~

Hours later, Riko still lied awake in bed. She didn’t know exactly what today would bring, but she knew for certain that there would be a lot of emotions. With anxiety in her stomach and her heart reminiscing in that dreamt feeling of love, Riko experienced her first hesitation of the day. 

Yoshiko woke up mid-morning, immediately noticing the absence of the person that was usually next to her. She managed to spring up, despite wanting to stay in bed just a little longer. She wandered into the kitchen, finding her partner sitting at the table. She was about to greet her, but then noticed the heavy bags underneath her eyes and her overall sad aroma. 

“Riko…”, she sat down next to her, “I’m not sure if this is what you want to hear, but.. don’t feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do, okay?”

Riko nodded, but then shifted anxiously. Yoshiko put her hand over her closed fist. 

“I thought I’d be relieved on this day. All of my problems are going to be resolved but yet, I feel so unsettled.”

Yoshiko rubbed her thumb along Riko’s soft hands. Her eyes showed sincerity and comfort, something that Riko desperately needed right now. Yoshiko couldn’t find any words to say, so she tried extra hard to convey her emotions nonverbally. After a few minutes like this, Riko sighed.

“Mari said she’ll be here in about an hour, we should get ready.”

~

Riko was nervous. They sat in the back of Mari’s car silently. The drive to the clinic was pretty far from their sheltered town of Uchiura. Mari was concentrated on driving and Yoshiko was panicking, not liking the uneasy atmosphere. She thought she should be the one to break the silence. 

“So, Mari, do you know what to expect when we get there?”

Riko was also wondering this question, so she quickly got out of her daze.

“Hmm, I imagine we’ll be in a waiting room for a bit with some papers to fill out. Then Riko will be taken to a room and put on one of the gynecologist chairs. She’ll get some numbing medication and then, well, they take it out.”

“Do they just reach in there or-?”, Yoshiko asked.

“It’s suction”, Mari tried to say as plainly as possible. 

“They really just vacuum it out of me?”, Riko added. The process seemed rather gross. 

“That’s what I have read, at least,” Mari answered. 

Yoshiko found Riko’s hand and held it, noticing that she was uncomfortable.

“I know it sounds overwhelming, Riko, but I think you’re doing the right thing. It’s all going to be over soon. You’ll have your life back!”

Riko nodded, she knew Mari was being truthful. Thinking more about it, the process was simple. That’s all she needed to do and she wouldn’t be pregnant anymore. But instead of filling her mind with those types of thoughts, Riko put her hand to her stomach. She was barely showing so it felt like nothing was there, but Riko felt beyond the physical and understood that there was life inside of her. Thinking about approaching closer and closer to the death of that life, Riko laid back against the seat of the car. A fuzzy, faceless image of the young girl in her dreams reappeared. Riko couldn’t stand it anymore; she allowed her hurting throat to feel the release it sought by letting go, letting the tears run down her cheeks. 

“Riko…”, Yoshiko looked at her with concern. 

Mari looked at her quickly through the mirror. The emotional pain consuming Riko’s expression struck Mari’s heart like a thorn.

“It’s okay to cry, this is a really hard thing to do, Riko,”, Mari said, doing her best to stay strong for her. 

“We’re here for you, too. Whatever you’re feeling you can share with us,” Yoshiko added. 

“It’s just.. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do this.. Although I know what I want, I keep having all of these second thoughts..”, Riko muttered through her tears.

Yoshiko gripped her hand tighter. 

“Remember what you’re doing this for,” Mari said, “You’re doing this for your future, yours and Yoshiko’s. Keep that in mind and I know you’ll be strong enough.”

Riko took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She told herself she should no longer think about what’s happening and focus on the future, which is what really matters to her. Her and Yoshiko will live normal high school lives, get into good colleges, have successful careers, and then think about children. What happened to her was a mistake because of their ignorance and it means nothing to her. She learned her lesson and soon, this will all be over.

Telling herself this made her feel a lot better. She stopped crying and calmed herself down. She met eyes with Yoshiko, who instantly brought her more support and comfort.

“It’s okay,” Yoshiko whispered. 

Riko nodded and smiled lightly, their hands remaining interlocked. She mouthed the words “I love you” to Yoshiko. In response, she blushed and smiled, then returned the mouthed words back. 

After about 20 more minutes of driving with small talk, Mari’s GPS told her to pull into an average sized building. 

“We’re here.”

Riko stepped out of the van and got a breath of fresh air. She was wearing a heavy coat, but that didn’t stop her entire body from shivering. Walking around to the other side of the vehicle, Riko discovered the other two staring at the front of the building. After following their stares, she noticed the signs staked into the ground. 

“PROTECT THE UNBORN CHILD”

“YOUR BABY DESERVES A CHANCE”

“DON’T MURDER THE INNOCENT”

Riko looked away quickly, bit her lip, and walked towards the door. Yoshiko and Mari watched her, then followed. 

The atmosphere inside was completely different from what was outside. Inside, there were posters explaining the meaning of choice and inspirational quotes. 

“YOU know what’s best for YOU”

It felt so distant to Riko, probably because she chose to stop thinking about it a half hour ago. Mari went to the counter while Riko and Yoshiko took their seats. There was a middle-aged couple also there, and they sweetly smiled at Riko and Yoshiko when they sat down. 

Mari came back in a few minutes and handed consent forms to Riko. She didn’t even look at them, just signed her name at the bottom. She recognized a feeling of numbness within her but didn’t take it as a bad thing. Within a few minutes, a female doctor called her full name. Getting up, she put her hand on Yoshiko’s shoulder, exchanged a look to her and Mari, then left and followed the doctor. The doctor led her into a smaller room with medical equipment and one of those gynecology chairs Mari was talking about. 

“Nice to meet you, Miss Sakurauchi. I’m Dr. Nishikino.”

The doctor stuck out her hand. 

“Hello..”, Riko said timidly, shaking her hand. 

“Before we start anything, I always like to talk to my patients.” 

This wasn’t favored by Riko, but Dr. Nishikino was already at a table in the corner of the room. Riko took a seat.

“So, you’re 16. That’s already a good reason to be here, but have you been informed about the other methods you could take?”

“Yes.”

“And who is with you today?”

“My girlfriend and my close friend”, Riko started to find these questions pointless.

There was a brief silence from the doctor. Riko had to applaud her, the mood wasn’t uncomfortable or tense like she thought it would be. She was probably required to ask those questions, so overall, the doctor was probably a nice lady. 

“It’s okay to feel, Miss Sakurauchi. I can tell you’re holding a lot back.” 

Riko raised her eyebrows to this observation but remained silent.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Those words stung Riko, releasing something inside of her. Her throat felt like it was closing up but yet she still didn’t know what she was feeling. She bit her lip again and leaned back in the chair, closing her eyes. She finally got the words for what she was feeling

This didn’t feel right.

Something in her has been telling her that since she woke up from that dream. What has happened to her has crushed some of her closest friendships, ruined her dreams in Aqours, destroyed a mother-daughter relationship, but yet it still felt wrong to go through with this. She felt absolutely broken by this baby, yet getting rid of it was just something that didn't feel right. 

“I…” 

Riko cried. 

The fuzzy image from the dream reappeared in her mind. She tried to focus her thoughts, but emotion took control.

“You don’t have to do this”, the doctor told her.

Riko clenched her fists, feeling like everything inside her was breaking. With the blurry image still behind her eyelids, a face slowly began taking form. She suddenly remembered the soft blue hair, the interest the girl had in whatever she was reading, and the smile she shone when she saw Riko. 

She folded her arms on the table and threw her head down, sobbing at the now clear image in her head. Her heart hurt too much for this.

“I.. I told everyone I would do this..”, she told the woman.

“It’s your choice in the end. You seem to understand that. Your love is very evident, Miss Sakurauchi. I suggest that you have the child. It’ll be hard, but you seem to be strong enough to handle it.”

“Me? Strong? I can’t even compose myself.. I’m shaking.. I-”

“You made some sort of compassionate connection to your fetus. It takes an incredible amount of love and strength to manage that when you’ve planned to abort. And Miss Sakurauchi, your crying right now is the greatest sign of strength.”

“I feel like I’ll let everyone down…”, Riko continued to cry.

“The two girls out there are there because they support you. I’m sure that won’t change.”

Riko stood up and looked the doctor in the eye. Riko wasn't processing what was even happening, just allowing her emotions and her heart to take over. 

“Thank you.”, Riko bowed. This was definitely a moment she’ll never forget.

“You’re welcome, I wish the best of luck to you”, Dr. Nishikino said and smiled at her. 

As soon as she stepped out of the door, she started crying harder. She was on her own now; the decision was finalized within her and there was no turning back. She walked slowly to the waiting room but didn’t even bother to compose herself. When she appeared in the room, Yoshiko rose to her feet. She looked concerned when she saw the intensity of Riko’s crying.

Riko felt guilt as soon as she saw her face. She just screwed up the rest of Yoshiko’s life. 

“I-I’m sorry..”, Riko uttered the only words that seemed to fit. 

Everything that just happened hit Riko, who was coming back into reality. Yoshiko, moving off instinct, wrapped her arms around her stiff body. 

“I-I couldn’t do it", she cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys I have no idea what I'm doing oh my god. I honestly was going to end the story with this chapter and have her go through with the abortion. I'm pro-choice and I don't even know what the heck is going on!! I just couldn't do it oof!!! I do this writer thing where I put myself in the character's mind and see what happens. I feel like any girl, especially teenagers, would be second-guessing themselves a lot before having an abortion. Putting myself in the mindset of Riko - who is selfless, kind, and strong- I couldn't see it happening, especially after distinctively making Riko have a connection with her baby. Honestly, this story has opened MY eyes to abortion and what women have to go through during unwanted pregnancies. I think I accidentally put too much conflict in the story by adding the dream and it just took a whole different turn! What did I do??!! hahah. Another reason I couldn't end it here because there were so many other conflicts going on! Like damn I almost forgot about Dia. And of course Chika, who was left unresolved. And now, I just added so much more conflict with Riko and herself, gosh why am I putting Riko through all this blehhh. Anyway, I guess we're going the whole 9 months which is like uh another 10 chapters?? I don't know. This is going to be... interesting. also yes maki is the doctor -- didn't feel like coming up with a name lol


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of all over the place and is longer than my usual chapters oop, but overall, this chapter is about moving on. I have more sense of where this story will go now, so thanks for keeping up with it! Also, thanks for all of the lovely comments! They really encourage me to keep writing and I always love and implement all of your wonderful ideas!

“I-I couldn’t do it.”

Yoshiko’s heart stopped and her mind went blank. She didn’t move as Riko slipped out of her embrace.

“Are you sure about this, Riko?”, Mari asked seriously.

“I-I just couldn’t do it.. It wasn’t in me..” 

Mari took a deep breath. It was a shock and Mari may have thought she wasn’t making the right choice, but obviously, Riko was in a lot of pain. Whatever caused her to make that decision was strong, because there was so much on the line that Riko had to overcome. Mari rose and hugged her, tucking her head into her shoulder. Riko continued to sniffle into her shirt while Mari rubbed her back. Past her shoulder, Mari opened her eyes to see Yoshiko staring at Riko, still seemingly frozen. Mari could barely imagine what Yoshiko must've been thinking at that moment.

Mari kept looking at her until she got her attention, then gave her a half-smile. Responding to this, Yoshiko turned around, took a few deep breaths, and told herself she’ll deal with her own emotions later. Returning her attention to Riko, she put a comforting hand on her back.

Riko was breathing heavily when she drew back from Mari. While trembling, she grasped and interlocked her fingers with Yoshiko’s and Mari’s hands. Together, they walked out of the abortion clinic. 

Mari sat in the driver’s seat, hesitant to start the car. She turned her neck to look back at the girls, who were looking right back at her.

“I-I’m sorry you had to drive all the way out here,” Riko apologized.

“It’s no problem, but, I’d like to know what went on in there”, Mari said kindly.

Riko’s eyes dropped to the floor of the car. Her hands fidgeted with each other as she thought of the words to say. 

“The doctor asked me a few questions and then we were just talking. Somehow, I started crying and everything felt wrong and overwhelming after that.”

Riko put her head against the glass window. Through all of the confusing feelings and emotions she was dealing with, she knew one thing for certain; she was tired. And, the more she thought about it, she was also starving. Knowing there was such a long drive ahead of them, Riko decided to mention it now.

“Can we.. stop somewhere to eat?”

Mari, seeing her reflection in the mirror, was just happy she managed to calm down a little. 

“Of course~”, she said, using her English. 

While driving, Mari almost forgot that Yoshiko was in the car. She was being oddly quiet, but Mari understood why. She pulled into the first fast-food chain they came across, hoping that this meal could be the perfect time for Riko to relax and for everyone to get their thoughts together. 

They ordered their food and took their seats in a booth; Riko and Yoshiko were on one side and Mari was on the other. 

“I’m sure we’re all still a bit frazzled, so let’s just take a few deep breaths and collect ourselves,” Mari said before inhaling deeply. 

The other two followed her by taking deep breaths.

“I want both of you to tell yourselves that everything is going to be okay. Tell yourselves that you are strong and that you can handle this. No matter what happens in the long run, you will be able to take it on.”

Needing any type of guidance possible, the girls followed her instructions. Although it was hard to completely believe the words Mari said, the confirmation was settling. Opening her eyes, Riko felt like she could now talk clearly.

“Again, I’m really sorry about putting you guys through that. A lot was happening and I just felt like I was doing something wrong. I know I really shouldn’t think like that but I couldn’t help it. And Yoshiko,” Riko turned to her, “I am so grateful for all of the support you give me but it would really help to know what your thoughts are on this and what you want. I just can’t make this decision on my own…”

“I don’t know,” Yoshiko stated, perhaps a little too quickly. 

Her shoulders were slouched and her eyes were avoiding contact. Her hands were also very noticeably gripping onto her arms very tightly. 

“I just need to think more, but it’s hard. I’ve never been a big picture type of person…” she continued.

“It’s okay, Yoshiko. You’re young and new to this all, we understand”, Mari spoke in a comforting tone.

But Yoshiko only looked more irritated.

“I.. I don’t want pity, either. I know I’m young but that’s not a reason to leave Riko hanging,” Yoshiko now looked up at them, “I’ll think about it more, I’ll do research, I’ll do whatever it takes! And I regret not doing any of that sooner.” 

That gave Riko a lot of hope. The amount of determination and responsibility Yoshiko demonstrated always caught her off guard, as it certainly isn’t everyone’s first impression of her. Riko felt this continuously strengthening bond of trust grow even stronger between them whenever Yoshiko acted this way. She often caught herself wondering how far this bond could extend and just how powerful they could become.

“I know you can do it, Yoshiko,” Riko responded supportingly. 

Yoshiko softly smiled at her and then gazed at her food.

Looking back at Mari, she asked, “Can we eat now?” 

Mari chuckled and responded “yes” in her impeccable English. They all dug into their food and were having a good time overall. However, Mari began to notice something off about Yoshiko’s outfit.

“Yoshiko, is that shirt new?”, she inquired.

“It’s Riko’s, I’m not a fan of the pink and pastels but I don’t exactly have my stuff.”

“I think you look great in light colors!”, Riko added while chomping on a fry.

“Wait, why don’t you have clothes?”, Mari questioned.

The girls across from her went oddly quiet, inferring that Mari ruined the mood.

“I haven’t been back to my mother’s house since she kicked me out.” 

The problem with Mari’s confusion was that she didn’t quite know the whole story of what happened between Yoshiko and her mother. The fact that Yoshiko was kicked out and Riko took her in was all that she was informed of. 

“We should go get them then! My van could fit everything”, she proposed. 

Riko and Yoshiko exchanged glances. 

“I don’t want to go back there.”

Yoshiko’s voice cracked as she spoke. She hoped Mari would realize what she meant, because frankly, she really didn’t feel comfortable talking about her mom. Yoshiko didn’t even like thinking about it. Mari’s expression changed, however, so Yoshiko hoped the conversation would end there.

“Riko and I could go.”

Yoshiko let out a small sigh. 

“No, Riko really shouldn’t be there either.”

Mari was surprised at the extremity of how far Ms. Tsushima must've gone with Yoshiko. Now, she definitely wanted to go visit her. 

“I’ll go alone.”

“You really don’t have to, Mari, I haven’t had any problem without my stuff so far.”

“I want to talk to her too, maybe there’s something I can do. Plus, I have pepper spray in my purse at all times!” 

Yoshiko doubted her mother would do anything physically to Mari. Rather, her biggest concern was what her mother would do verbally. 

“I definitely don’t like the idea of you going there alone. Maybe you can bring Kanan or someone?”, Riko commented.

“Oh yes. She could help with the heavy lifting~”

Yoshiko silently agreed to the plan, yet still felt uneasy. 

They finished up eating and were back in Mari’s van shortly after. Mari took one of her hands off the wheel and began to dial Kanan’s number while driving on a busy highway, to which Riko yelled at her and put the call on speaker phone.

“Hey babe, what’s up?”

Riko immediately regretted that action. 

“Kanaaan~ You’re on speaker phone and Riko and Yoshiko are in the car~”, Mari giggled.

“Geez, is everything okay?”, Kanan asked concerningly through the phone. 

“Oh yes, but are you available? I was wondering if you could help me get Yoshiko’s things from her house.”

Riko added in, “The thing is, Yoshiko and I wouldn’t exactly be safe there and we don’t want Mari to go alone. Her mom is kind of..not on good terms with either of us.”

“Oh, yeah I’ll help!”, Kanan said immediately. 

“Alright, I’ll pick you up soon darling~”

~

A short time after Mari dropped Riko and Yoshiko off, her and Kanan stood outside the door of the Tsushima house with empty trash bags in their hands. 

“So her mother kicked her out?”, Kanan questioned.

“Yeah, and from what I understand, she was abusive.”

“Oh.” 

Kanan looked back at the door, doubting if they should be doing this. Before she could intervene, Mari was ringing the doorbell. Quickly, Ms. Tsushima was at the door. 

“We’re here to pick up Yoshiko’s things.”

The older woman raised her eyebrow at the two strangers in front of her.

“And who are you?”

“Yoshiko’s friends”, Mari answered confidently.

She crossed her arms and squinted her eyes at them.

“I didn’t think she still had friends.”

Mari bit her lip to stop herself from saying something she’d regret. Ms. Tsushima could slam the door on them at any moment, after all. Both of them remained silent but kept strong eye contact with her. 

“So, you’re here for her stuff? And what makes you think I’d let you take them? I paid for all that shit anyway, so you don’t really have the right-”

Despite telling herself she wouldn’t flip out, Mari already couldn’t handle this.

“Ma’am, you kicked your own daughter out of your home and out of your life. I understand that you do not think highly of her, but she deserves to at least wear her own clothes.”

“Don’t you go thinking you’re going to tell me what’s best for my daughter, then demand to come into my home.”

Mari moved forward but Kanan stopped her by putting a hand on her shoulder. 

“Ms, we really aren’t here to argue. We just want to get her some clothes. If you really are so sick of her, then you must also be sick of looking at all of her things.”

Kanan kept a straight expression to hide her emotions. There was a silence from the mother and Mari and Kanan could feel her studying them. 

“Fine. Upper floor, first door on your right. You have a half hour and then you’re out.”

Ms. Tsushima got out of the way and disappeared somewhere, leaving the door open for Mari and Kanan. Mari was the first to step in without hesitation; Kanan quickly followed.

“Just as it was left”, Mari said while observing the room.

“Well, let’s get started. Let’s start with the clothes- that’s probably the most important.” 

Mari and Kanan opened her drawers and quickly started shoving all of her clothes in the bags. After finishing a few drawers, she moved to Yoshiko’s closet. When she opened the doors, all of Yoshiko’s old “fallen angel” costumes were revealed. Mari sighed, remembering how Yoshiko’s life was not so long ago. She has almost turned into an entirely new person. Mari doubted if Yoshiko would even want these wings and dark lacy dresses returned to her.

Regardless, Mari threw them in a bag anyway. 

Then, deeper in the closet, she found their old Guilty Kiss outfit. Again, remembrance of all the fun they used to have returned to her. She put this costume in her bag as well, figuring that maybe one day, they’ll look back on this in a positive light.

“Hey, Mari,” Kanan said from the other side of the room.

“Hm?”, Mari said, making her way over to her. 

She noticed Kanan was looking down at something in her hand. Peering over her shoulder, Mari saw that it was a framed photo of Yoshiko and Riko taking a selfie in front of a large Christmas tree. Riko seemed to be surprised at the camera while Yoshiko had a wide smile on her face. 

“That’s too cute”, Mari whispered, leaning her body against Kanan’s. Kanan responded by wrapping her arm around her lower waist.

“There’s another one.” 

Kanan put the frame down and picked up the other one on the desk. This one was another frantic photo of Riko and that small dog the two kept for a few days. The dog was wagging its tail and shining puppy eyes at Riko, who was attempting to overcome her fear by petting the dog. Whatever this picture was, Yoshiko thought it was special enough to capture it and frame it. Both of them knew memories like this couldn’t go forgotten, so they placed the frames in the bag. 

They spent another ten minutes gathering as many of her clothes as possible. Kanan made sure to keep her eye on the time, not knowing if Ms. Tsushima was actually serious about the 30 minutes. However, when the time was up, there was not a sound from the house and nothing happened. They were mostly done anyway though, so they left the house with 4 bags of Yoshiko’s possessions. 

The silence of one house traveled to another, as the Sakurauchi house was just as quiet. Mari knocked on the door in a rhythmic pattern. Mari and Kanan were almost convinced they weren’t home, but Yoshiko then finally opened the door. 

“Riko’s asleep. I had to creep out of the room to get to the door,” Yoshiko whispered.

Noticing the bags they carried, she got out of the doorway and signaled them inside. 

“You can put them down in here. T-Thank you for getting it all, really.” 

“You got it, Yoshiko. Really, we’ll do anything to help out,” Kanan answered her.

“And look what we got!”

Mari reached into the bag, pulling out one of the frames. Yoshiko knew what it was from the shape it made in the bag. Smiling already, she took the picture Mari handed her. 

Ms. Sakurauchi, who was actually home for once, was curious about her visitors. Yoshiko welcomed her arrival in the room by signaling her to come closer.

“Do you remember this dog?”, Yoshiko asked her with a smile.

“Oh, that little thing drove you two up the walls for days! How could I forget?”

The older woman laughed and looked at the cute but scrambled look of her daughter in the photo. A good feeling of nostalgia overcame her. By this time, Mari had the other picture of just Yoshiko and Riko out and in Yoshiko’s hands. Ms. Sakurauchi peered over her shoulder and smiled at that photo as well. She smiled at this one too, figuring these were both from Yoshiko’s house. 

“Do you want to put these out?”, she asked Yoshiko. 

Yoshiko grinned deviously at her, then collected the photos. She walked over to the coffee table in the living room and put the photos on either side of the small centerpiece. 

~

Later that night, Riko was scavenging for food in her kitchen. If it wasn’t for the bouncing reflection of the moonlight, she would have never noticed the two new additions to the living room.

As soon as she stepped close enough to make them out, she felt her lips curl up. The first one she picked up was the one of her and Nocturne. A sweet memory, Riko thought. The other photo of just her and Yoshiko hit a little deeper, she had to admit. 

Riko remembered when this photo was taken. Her and Yoshiko weren’t even dating yet, but they certainly were close. Thinking of the past, Riko felt the purity in the picture. Her silly expression in the picture was similar to the faces she always made at all of the antics Yoshiko used to partake in. 

That carefree time in their lives was definitely too short. 

However, Riko learned that dwelling on what they used to be will get them nowhere now. Although their relationship took an unexpected turn, that didn’t mean it was over. With both the photos in her hands, she sat on the couch. She looked at them for a while, thinking even more about their current situation and the emotional day she had. The memories in the photos and her current life contrasted a lot. This - and probably some of her pregnancy-induced mood swings- caused her to release the lump in her throat and let the tears run. 

Putting the photos down in their original spots, Riko walked away.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dia Kurosawa has entered the chat.

“Ruby, don’t talk to Riko or Yoshiko ever again.”

Dia spoke softly, sitting on the edge of Ruby’s bed. Ruby was confused as to how her older sister could say such harsh words in such a gentle tone. 

“They’ve made serious decisions that will ruin their lives. To be that irresponsible, I can’t even imagine. They’re going to struggle, and if you hang around them, they’ll pull you in to it. I don’t want that for you, Ruby. You’re better than them.”

Dia spoke so calmly, Ruby wasn’t even mad at what she was saying. Dia has taught her to match the energy of whoever is speaking to her. If someone is speaking boldly, speak boldly back. Or if someone is speaking softly, speak softly back. 

“Are you sure they won’t be upset? I don’t want them to be mad at me.”

“They won’t be upset with you, and honestly, they aren’t even thinking of you. They aren’t thinking about Chika, You, or anyone else in Aqours. They’re wrapped up in themselves and their own problems that they have caused. They are acting very selfish. So no, it doesn’t matter to them if you speak to them or not.”

“I’m not sure if Yoshiko would think like that…” 

Dia was quick to respond.

“She was the one that got Riko pregnant. Now it was both of their fault, but did you ever think Yoshiko would do something like that?”

“No... “, Ruby said quietly. 

“Yoshiko was acting selfish in that moment as well. Both of them are just selfish people, Ruby.”

Ruby nodded her head. Whether she agreed or not was still in question, but she wanted Dia to leave her alone. Truthfully, Ruby really missed Yoshiko. She will never forget all of the good times they shared, from playing along with her silly fallen angel stunts or the times where Yoshiko has helped her come out of her shell. 

Despite that, Ruby couldn’t help but to believe what Dia was saying. Yoshiko was the same age as her, after all. To think that Yoshiko had sex with Riko at her age bamboozled her. Yoshiko really had to be selfish and irresponsible to do such a thing. 

Although having conflicting opinions, Ruby decided just to follow what her sister wants her to do. She seemed to always follow this route, and sometimes, it was just easier to do so. 

~

A week has passed since Riko chose not to go through with the abortion. Mari was the only person who knew that she was still pregnant until Kanan asked her about it. Apparently, Riko still hasn’t told her mother. Riko said that her mother hasn’t been home a lot. That statement is true, but it’s obvious she’s avoiding the subject. But in current time, Mari and Kanan were the only ones who knew. 

That was until a hard knock on the door of Mari’s school office. 

Kanan abruptly stopped having her afternoon chat with Mari at the shiver-inducing sound. They both knew who was at the door.. 

“Hello Dia,” Mari greeted. 

As the three of them were practically inseparable a few months ago, the incident with Riko and Yoshiko has definitely put a rift in their friendship. They no longer ate lunch together or discussed homework; neither of them even tried to communicate with the other. The air was always tense and felt as if an argument could break lose any second. 

“Hello, Mari,” Dia changed direction, “Hello, Kanan.”

“How may I help you?”, Mari asked. 

“Did Riko get an abortion?”

Dia assertively crossed her arms and held her head high as she got right to point. In response, Mari interlocked her fingers and placed her hands on the desk in front of her.

“You have no right to know.” 

Kanan shifted in her chair, knowing all she could do was watch.

“I believe I do, as the student council president. Under my authority, I should know the wellbeing of all my students.” 

“The wellbeing? Please, like you even care!”

“The question of whether I care does not matter in my responsibilities. Plus, I will not leave this room until you tell me.”

Mari looked at Kanan, who has the strength to remove Dia from the room if necessary. Although this was an option, both knew Dia would report it and they would be kicked out of school. Mari had to think fast. Dia was serious, but there was no way in hell Mari would tell her that Riko is still pregnant. 

“I don’t know, Dia. I haven’t talked to her.” 

“I’ll call her up then,” Dia reached for the intercom on Mari’s desk.

“Dia-”, Mari tried.  
“Could Riko Sakurauchi please report to the chairwoman’s office?”

Mari sighed and tried to control her anger. She looked back at Kanan, who had big eyes and a worried look on her face. 

\--

Back in a classroom, Yoshiko freaked when she heard the announcement. She recognized Dia’s voice immediately and she felt her palms begin to sweat. She promptly stood up in her seat and asked to use the bathroom. 

She met Riko outside of the door in a few minutes. She looked just as scared as her. 

They entered the room and immediately felt the intense atmosphere. Every footstep they made sounded distinctively loud. Both Mari and Kanan eyes read danger. Dia glared at Yoshiko before returning her attention to Riko. 

“Are you still pregnant?”

Riko knew this was coming. She dropped her head as a million thoughts ran through her mind. 

“Why do you care?”, Yoshiko responded, seemingly confident.

“It’s my duty as student council president.” 

“What are you going to do with that kind of information?”, Yoshiko continued to ask. 

“That is to my discretion.” 

Yoshiko tried to remain as confident and dominant as Dia, but that quickly died. Riko took an audible breath.

“Yes, I’m still pregnant.” 

Dia squinted her eyes. 

“If you don’t plan on terminating the pregnancy, I don’t want you affiliated with Uranohoshi in any way. I do find abortion to be wrong and disgusting, but I cannot have you representing the school visually pregnant.”

The room silenced. Riko panicked at looked at Mari, wishing for her to help out. While shaking her head, Mari rose from her chair and pressed her hands against her desk. 

“You can’t kick her out Dia- you don’t have the power to do that!”, Mari strictly stated.

“Your father does, and from what I understand, he doesn’t know anything about that,” Dia pointed at Riko, “.. yet, does he?” 

Mari sat back down, knowing how quickly her father would be to side with Dia. 

“So, Riko, will you be having an abortion?”, Dia prompted.

Riko’s eyes continued to make contact with the floor. 

“I-I don’t know. It’s a hard decision to make, Dia. You wouldn’t understand.”

“You know the consequences. But I don’t think you care, knowing that you decided to have sex while underage in the first place.”

Yoshiko took a step closer to Dia, “We made a mistake and we are handling it. We just need some time.”

“Time? What are you…,” Dia faced Riko, “6, 7 weeks pregnant? You don’t have much time.”

Riko didn’t dare to tell her that she was actually 9 weeks along now. That being noted, Dia was right. She didn’t have a lot of time to make this decision, and frankly, that terrified her. Riko had to admit that Dia was bringing up good points, but Riko knew she was right about one thing.

“Again, Dia, you just wouldn’t understand what we’ve been going through. If I could make a decision that quickly, I would! A lot just goes into it. I can’t get myself to think that it’s just a group of cells that will only trouble me- it feels like a lot more of that. And I can’t explain that feeling.”

Riko talked as if Dia cared about any of this, but even she knew that her words meant nothing to her. 

“You should’ve been more responsible. I actually admired you, Riko. That admiration has long been gone and our school will not lower itself to the standards of you. You have two weeks.”

By that point, Riko understood that Dia was as heartless as a stone and Riko did not have time or energy for that. The second year began walking out of the office midway through Dia’s last sentence.

On the other hand, Yoshiko stayed in the classroom. Mari and Kanan could tell she was extremely frustrated by the way she was clenching her fists and the narrowness of her eyes. As soon as Riko left, Yoshiko swiftly raised her hand and struck Dia on the cheek. The sound of the smack echoed through the room.

“You talk about decency and then have the guts to say terrible things about a person to their face? You talk about the greatness of our school, then threaten to shun one of the students? You can be as great as you think you are, but without basic human sympathy, that really means nothing.”

Yoshiko stormed out of the room, bumping Dia’s shoulder along the way. She didn’t look back at the expression of Dia because she made the decision to not care any longer. 

~

“You deserved that.”

Mari leaned back in her chair and grinned at the red mark left on Dia’s face. 

“Well, she’s getting a referral that will ultimately result in suspension. That was the perfect example of irresponsible and simply idiotic behavior. I could actually have them both expelled.”

“Let that go already,” Kanan spoke, “They’ve been through enough, Dia. Why do you care so much? You could sit down and talk this out normally. There's no need to be so mad.”

“I just got slapped! You two saw that right?!!”

“Dia, you were being insensitive. Riko shouldn't be threatened into making a decision that could change her life. And then you insulted her in front of Yoshiko. They care about each other a lot, so of course Yoshiko will stick up for Riko.”

Mari managed to keep herself calm now because she was convinced Dia was feeding off of their anger. Kanan also picked up on this, but followed her gut with what to say. 

“Dia, you were a really good friend to Mari and I for the longest time, but you've just been acting completely insane lately. You won't even try to understand where they're coming from. Mari can make her own decision, but I really don't want someone as selfish as you in my life.”

Dia wasn't shocked at this as their friendship has been a complete mess since this whole ordeal began. She already knew Mari's response before she opened her mouth. 

“I agree. I can't believe you, Dia. I want you out of my life and out of Riko’s and Yoshiko's life. Let them figure out what to do peacefully. Please don't add any more stress.”

Without a word, Dia turned around and walked out of the door.

The room was quiet.

Kanan and Mari exchanged glances. Both had to take a moment and process the words they said and the result. They both came to the conclusion that despite just breaking off a childhood friendship, they did not feel sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dia Kurosawa has left the chat.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A decision is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Riko is 10 weeks along here~

Yoshiko was suspended for 3 school days. That didn’t look the best on her record, but she didn’t regret it. Riko didn’t hear anything from Dia since they were in Mari’s office, so she decided not to worry about Dia’s threat. Rather, she knew she had to concentrate on making the decision without any outside influencers. Except Yoshiko, of course, and now she was also right beside her. Riko skipped school the first day of Yoshiko’s suspension to have this conversation. 

-

One of the major pregnancy symptoms Riko noticed was her peaked emotions. She has never been an overly emotional person, so this new change was strange for her. She didn’t even cry over the real problems in her life, but rather dumb things like her dog or missing her girlfriend when she left the house. 

This morning, she cried when she woke up and saw that Yoshiko was not next to her. From downstairs, Yoshiko heard her and rushed to her.

“Riko?”, she questioned, approaching her and wrapping her arm around her immediately.

“Oh, there you are. I’m s-sorry..”, she said with cracks in her voice.

Riko leaned into Yoshiko’s embrace, still unable to stop crying.

“This is so stupid, I have no control over my emotions!”, Riko pouted.

“It’s okay, Riko. I’m pretty sure that’s a normal sign of pregnancy.”

“So is being ugly.”

Yoshiko held Riko’s hands and connected their eyes.

“Well, you obviously don’t have that symptom because you’re always beautiful and I love you and all of your emotions.”  
After a second of just looking into her loving eyes, Riko started to cry harder. 

“You’re too sweet!!! I love you!”, Riko cried out while hugging Yoshiko tighter.

“I have to talk to you later today. Is it okay if I finish making breakfast now?”, Yoshiko asked sincerely.

“Mhmm,” Riko replied, releasing her.

\--

Yoshiko took the opportunity to work more hours today because of her suspension. She wouldn’t get to see Riko again until late in the evening. Riko obviously knew what Yoshiko wanted to talk about and she spent the entire day waiting in suspense.

Riko began to worry when the clock struck 10, despite being used to Yoshiko always working extremely long and late hours. She still didn’t know what her job was exactly, but at this point, she was afraid to ask. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the rustling doorknob.

“I’m home.”

Riko greeted her and noticed she looked exhausted.

“I’ll be right back,” Yoshiko smiled at her. 

Riko watched as she climbed the steps and walked into their room. Minutes later, she returned to pajamas. She joined her on the couch and Riko felt the energy change.

“So I read up a little on our situation like I said I would. I looked into stories of other people and how they handled it. Some were good and successful, while others failed really badly. Those bad ones were made up of people deciding to keep the baby and eventually failing as their role as parents. When I read those, there was just something missing from the parents. An effort, maybe? Love? I’m not sure but something just wasn’t there, compared to the good stories. Then, I thought about us and where we would fall. Neither of us is the type to not put effort into something; neither of us wouldn’t commit in the way we needed to. Riko, I think if we both wanted to, we could have this baby and be good parents.”

Not to a surprise, Riko teared up.

“You’re right, I knew we could. It’s just that… it’s terrifying. But ever since the abortion clinic, I can’t imagine another way. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I had that abortion. I would constantly be haunted by the “what ifs?” and I would just forever have the feeling that it was the wrong choice. Then I think about the “right choice”. There are so many challenges and the entire world is against us. But in my heart, it is truly what I want.”

“It’s what I want too. I know I said I would support you no matter what, but I know that parenting is beyond just supporting you. I made my choice because I want our baby to live.”

Riko smiled softly through her tears. 

“That’s exactly what I needed you to say. I seriously wouldn’t be able to do this on my own.”

“Riko, I promise I’ll be by your side through every step. I know once we make this decision there’s no going back and I am going to do whatever I can to make this work.”

Riko nodded and laid back against the couch. 

“I’m scared”, she whispered.

That was an understatement for the amount of fear she held. Sure, Yoshiko’s words were comforting and she felt a bit of relief in having made a decision. Her heart was certainly pleased, but her mind was now flooded with terror. She can’t imagine what the next 6 and a half months have in store for her. Childbirth? She absolutely did not want to think about that. 

Yoshiko gripped onto her hand.

“You’re the strongest woman I know, Riko. You may not think that right now, but you really are. When you speak of that feeling of connecting with the baby inside you, I find that absolutely incredible and beautiful. I think that as long as you hold onto that feeling, you can do anything.”

**Author's Note:**

> Curious about their special night? Check out "Desire's Strength" for all of the juicy details. Remember kids, this is possible to all y'all fucking around in junior high and high school. This whole story's purpose is to show the tragedy of teenage pregnancy and all of the emotions and struggles that come behind it. But it also enables you to show sympathy towards some high school pregnancies, and to not label girls as sluts and whores immediately. Sometimes it is just a lack of knowledge, which could be the result of a school without proper sex ed. The fact of the matter is, practice safe sex. Yes, there is a possibility of getting pregnant by pulling out. "Precum" can inseminate. Wear a condom!!!


End file.
